Just Saying – 27 November 2015

People watching is one of my favourite pastime activities, especially while I am drinking a freshly squeezed juice at Zara’s.

In Ballito, people are generally in pilates shape, wearing the latest trends and the biggest diamonds.

There are rare occasions though, where I wish I could whip out my fashion police siren and pull over that poor soul who missed the mirror on their way out of the house.

It seems the most common fashion faux pas are pants that are too tight and the unforgiving boob tube.

I understand there are mornings when you simply cannot accept that your favourite Old Khaki shorts are too small.

However, the fact that you manage to do up that top button after 20 minutes of contortion, does not mean that it fits and should be seen in public.

Remember that the yarn holding that seam together is only so strong and the possibility of said seam bursting dramatically is very real.

Be strong, put those shorts in the after-my-diet pile, curse that Aero slab that looked so lonely last night and move on to the next outfit.

Do not choose the boob tube though.

Anyone over a B cup should not be allowed into a boob tube. Ever.

Even then, the wretched thing can only be worn by ladies who never cheat on their diets, as it usually squeezes an unattractive muffin top up over the tube.

Then of course there is the constant tugging at the piece of material, which is always heading south, threatening to expose your bosom to the world.

The more you tug at the front, the more it slides at the back, until eventually your whole bra is sticking out, of which you are merrily unaware.

Point is, do not wear something that has a will of its own or that you cannot sit in.