My Perspective: Waiting for Ruben

Ruben Bruce is now six weeks old and on Saturday he reached an even greater milestone, his due date.

Having a prem baby was rather a shock. My waters broke in the middle of the night and my first thought was, oh golly I’m incontinent!

Well at least that was not the case… Even so I did not expect to be booked into hospital that very day for a caesarean.

Life is full of curve balls and having a baby in the neonatal ICU was one I never expected to experience. I had no idea prem babies were so common.

In South Africa, apparently more than eight out of 100 babies are premature (before 37 weeks).

But it’s when things go pear shaped that you realise what an incredible support network you have.

I have to use this opportunity to honour a few of those special people who made all the difference to Pieter and me. Piet’s mom who dropped everything and arrived, Mary Poppins style, to care for our firstborn and put our home in order for the new arrival.

My mom, who took on our sick toddler for two weeks to prevent Ruben being exposed to his germs (perms have fragile immune systems and a simple cold could be devastating).

Dr Mthethwa for making the surgery, despite being an emergency, so stress free. The paeds, Dr Ashley Jeevarathnum and Dr Chetty, who got our boy out of the woods. Three NICU sisters for the tenderness and passion with which they cared for our boy: Viasha Govender, Clarissa Marinuthoo and Nonto Mathabela.

Nurses Beena Sing and Nolwazi Nyoka who cared for me in the ward after my operation.

Last but not least, hostess Nonhlahla Mwandla, proving that it is not what you do but how you do it. If your job is to serve tea and you do that with excellence and kindness, you will not fail to impact the lives of those around you.

Ruben means God saw my needs, and blessed me with a son.

The name also expresses certainty and immediacy in our awareness of God. This tiny human certainly lived up to his name.

Throughout this ordeal I experienced a supernatural peace that can only come from God. Even one of the NICU nurses commented that all the babies in the ward were unusually peaceful, like they were all “born under the same stars” was how she expressed it.

But I knew it was because God’s presence was there. Now we are home and I won’t lie, maternity leave is no holiday. Ruben feeds every two hours round the clock. So that’s one hour nursing, one hour sleeping and so on.

This leaves little time for planning meals so I was particularly grateful for the women of our church who arrived at our door armed with delicious meals every night for a week.

You blessed us out of our socks! Another major plus is that I am no longer pregnant! I honestly feel like I whole new person.

My taste for tea has returned (now to catch up on the last seven tea-less months) and if that’s not all marshmallow mice have made a miraculous reappearance in the shops. There’s still no sign of my liquorice ropes and to add insult to injury one of my favourite chocolates, Tempo, has now too befallen the same fate and been discontinued.

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I have discovered the secret to happiness. It’s so simple that anyone can do it. Stop at zebra crossings.

Yes you heard me, those black and white stripes across the road where people stand waiting for a gap in the traffic.

The pedestrians are so surprised they practically dance across the road smiling and waving at you as they go. How can you not be happy after making someone’s day with so little effort?

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When you see something beautiful in someone, tell them. It may take seconds to say, but for them, it could last a lifetime. – unknown.