Family learns to laugh amid tragedy

Paralysed from the chest down and covered in blood from a car crash, Geoffrey Harvey greeted his mother with words that still put a knot in her throat, “Momma, don’t cry. Jesus put me on a new journey.”

On this journey toward picking up their pieces of their broken lives and learning how to be happy again, the Harvey family has come to appreciate what really matters in life. Theirs is a story of inspiration and of the strength and endurance of the human spirit during life’s greatest trials, to anyone who feels defeated by problems that may seem insurmountable.

On June 15, 2012, just two weeks shy of his 22nd birthday, Geoffrey was critically injured, when his friend, Konrad Pelzer, suddenly lost control of his vehicle.

“We were travelling to Limpopo to visit Konrad’s mother, who he hadn’t seen in a while. About 20km from our destination Konrad swerved suddenly. I am not sure what he had been trying to avoid, because I was looking down at my cell phone. When I felt the car sliding, I looked up. By the time I looked up, the car was rolling,” said Geoffery, describing the day that irrevocably changed his life.

“At that stage, I passed out. When I came to, I could hear Konrad battling to breathe next to me. At that stage, he was still alive, so he must have died next to me waiting for help to arrive. I could not turn toward him because I had broken my neck. It was more than an hour after the accident that a passing motorist bothered to stop. Then, he only stopped because the screen on my cell-phone lit up on the road. When he stopped to pick up my cell-phone, he walked a little further to the car and found Konrad and I still trapped inside, He called my parents and the ambulance. The next time I regained consciousness, I was being wheeled into theatre.”

In the hospital, Geoffrey succumbed to holes being drilled on either side of his head, in which callipers were tightened. Attached to the callipers, where 15kg weights, which were intended to stretch out Geoffrey’s spine so that each vertebra could heal on its own. He describes the Frankenstein collar, a wire cage fixed around his head and neck, to keep his neck stable, as one of the most painful and uncomfortable experienced in hospital. Geoffrey was finally able to return home on August 12, 2012.

“Since then, I’ve experienced lots of ups and downs. I’ve done lots of praying and I’ve experienced lots of frustration. I used to be a very physical person and very independent, and it was humbling to now have to depend on people to do the simplest of things for me.”

“The most important lesson, I have learned is that you shouldn’t pity yourself. Out there, there are people who are worse off than you, but who are happier than you, because they are working toward doing something about their problems,” Geoffrey continued. “Being paralysed from the chest down, I now also have an understanding of what disabled people feel and go through. Most people will greet or speak to my parents, when they see us in town, but don’t even seem to see me. When they want to ask about me, they will direct the question to my parents, when I am sitting right there. It’s as if, they think that being in a wheelchair makes me stupid.”

Karen Harvey, Geoffrey’s mother, described the most difficult part of her son’s healing was learning how to laugh again, and to be silly as a family.

“Earlier this year, Vernon, Geoffrey’s father, was washing Geoffrey’s face, when Geoffrey growled suddenly and pretended he was going to bite him. Vernon got such a fright, the wash cloth was thrown across the room, and we couldn’t help it. All three of us just cracked up. I never thought, I’d laugh again, but now we laugh about everything,” said Mrs Harvey. “I just want people to know that no matter what is happening in your life, God will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.”

Mr Harvey added, “I am now a firm believer that God won’t give you anything that you can’t handle. There’s always a silver lining if you are patient and optimistic. What you come to realise, in situations like this, is that help comes you, in your times of need, from the most unexpected sources.”

Geoffrey, wished to thank his parents and his sister, Audery, for their love and support: “Without these two ‘old people’ standing beside me, I would not have had the strength or the will to survive,” he concluded.