Don’t play games with love

Madam – Loving someone. In life do not ever play games.

If you love someone, tell them. If you do not, tell them.

The human heart is a very complex thing in that it makes us do the strangest things when it reaches a point of desperation, especially when we are hurting. I am certain many of us have reached that point where we find ourselves attacking the competition “In the name of Love” even attacking the object of your affection. Some of us have even found ourselves hiding behind bushes or tagging the car playing spy.

At the end of it all, relationships, whether friendships or romance need two elements to survive- COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE; and it needs another two elements to fall apart – PRIDE and STUPIDITY

Too proud to say I am sorry, too proud to say I am hurting, too proud to say I am feeling a little insecure. And so stupid, stupid enough to let them go because you think they will be back, stupid enough not to tell them that you love them because you think they will stick around longer if you play hard to get, stupid enough not to answer their calls when you have a fight, because you want to hurt them and you want to teach them a lesson they will never forget.

Watch out! You are not the one who learns a lesson. If it is worth a great person walking out of your life, possibly for good; then by all means knock yourself out.

But please do not cry when that person never calls you ever again, or finds solace in another person’s arms because the pain you were causing them was too much to bear (stupid but serious).

Do not cry when a beautiful relationship is broken and cannot be fixed because YOU chose to play games instead of laying your cards on the table and working it out. Say exactly what you feel and ask exactly what you want to know. No matter how STUPID you sound. At least you will know exactly where you stand.

And even after you’ve poured your heart out and it still does not work out, you will be at peace because you know you did your best. Your conscience will be clear and you will move on, knowing that you did not go down without a fight. LOVING SOMEONE IS NOT A GAME.

People are not pyramids; you cannot go off on your own selfish trip and expect to find them in the exact same spot you left them weeks ago. If you do not take care of your partner’s needs when they need you to, what guarantee do you have that somebody else won’t???

So when you find your partner in your best friend’s arms or hear they are getting married to someone you had guaranteed was just a “rebound trip” three months after you let them go without a fight, do not cry because while you were busy playing games, somebody else wasn’t. Love without reservations; live without regrets.

Sphiwe Khumalo