Madam – How do you balance having a career while also taking care of your family without being judged in a town as small as Newcastle?
I am a single parent, and if I had a rand for the amount of times I was made to feel guilty for ‘neglecting’ my children by working, I would never have to work another day in my life! People think it is fine to judge other people, without knowing the circumstances of their lives first.
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I was constantly being abused by my ex, and chose to leave him because I did not want my children growing up in an abusive home. This decision was very hard for me, because my ex was the only one employed and I knew by choosing to leave that I would have to find work and support myself and my kids.
At the time, I was scared and lost and had no-one to turn to for help. I still believe I did the right thing, because despite what people think, it is very emotionally difficult to get away from an abusive relationship.
I have always been very proud of my own bravery and courage to leave with nothing but the clothes on my back and the will to give my children a better life. I was lucky enough to find a job where I earn enough to support all of us, even though some months are financially draining.
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Yet there are still people I work with who talk behind my back that I am a terrible mother for not giving my kids a ‘father figure’ to look up to or for working so many hours overtime. They do not understand that the money I make with those extra hours is the only thing keeping us with a roof above our heads and food on the table.
It really hurts to be judged without people knowing the true story and I do not think one little letter will be enough to stop people from gossiping about each other, but I am hoping if at least one person reads this and thinks before spreading rumours, I might have made a positive contribution to someone’s life.
Please people, do not speak and judge without knowing the circumstances. You could be really hurting someone who is only trying their best to live a good life.
GV
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You can also email our offices on Reveshni Douglas at reveshni@caxton.co.za or newsun@caxton.co.za Bruce Douglas at Newed2@caxton.co.za Tersia Gopi at newed@caxton.co.za Zianne Leibrandt at ncschools@caxton.co.za
