Bad year 2013.  Madiba’s passing. Then there’s Nkandlagate, that now battles to even earn a mention on page 17 in the Sunday Times.
Then there was Justin Bierber marrying Lady Gaga – ha! You obviously did not read page 18.
Locally, the ‘Greatest Hits of the Year’ was a very short list – shorter than the queue to pay your rates – and was easily topped by Sentraal’s rugby team winning the provincial trophy.
The rest?
Well, that went down in a heap of tenders, suspensions, mayoral car accidents, money wasting, littering, potholes and the odd leaking sewer pipe that only calls to the Courier could fix.
As for Dundee? The town just looks like a tired old lady who has been waiting patiently in line to buy pancakes, only to be told that they have run out of batter.
Even the welcome walls at the entrance to the town are scruffy, with one reading ‘Welcome to Dunde’.
If we cannot even get that right, it does not say much for a town with two municipal managers and a fleet of well-paid officials.
What about that sign on the Dundee/Glencoe road that shouts out at motorists: ‘How many people have you killed today? Drive safely.’
I mean, come on – is that the way we welcome visitors, even when they are here to see the battlefields?
Then there is my favourite (on the same road). A sign that reads: ‘Department of Public Wo rs 2km on the right.’
That’s what the staff is probably doing anyway, besides having nice new carports.
The railway lines are now landfill sites.
Blame for the incessant littering was placed on a madman who goes around opening refuse bags and scattering the contents across the lines.
No one ever thought of actually rounding up the guy and shipping him off for professional help.
Guess it is too much work…
Dundee continues to attract the homeless, the glue sniffers and other crazies who, when they are not eavesdropping on the FBI through their portable TV set, are begging for money in Beaconsfield Street and generally harassing anyone who cares to listen.
The reasons why they flock here are probably twofold: (1) We are very generous people who give in easily; and (2) There is simply no work here, unless you are an undertaker or a cash loan operator and receive the odd tender from the municipality.
These Beaconsfield Street-types must be made of teflon. They take abuse, pepper-spraying and lousy tips but still come back for more. Perhaps Gavin can hire them for the Diehards? They are more resilient than rhinos and tougher than ratepayers.