Parting Shot – Watch out for ‘scaly people’ wanting to rule your world

News that reptiles are running the world – or are just about to take over – is a blessing in disguise. As far as I know, reptiles are pretty cool.

Everyone either fears or loves a snake, while crocodiles have movies named after them, and some people even use them for shoes.

This is far removed from the rather dry definition of: a cold-blooded vertebrate animal of a class that includes snakes, lizards, crocodiles, turtles, and tortoises.

They are distinguished by having a dry scaly skin, and typically laying soft-shelled eggs on land.

That Hollywood abounds with scaly-types comes as no surprise. But the Rat Pack would differ in opinion. So would UB40.

Politicians are also quite good at scaling.

Those who can remember may recall a much-watched television series, V, where a race of aliens lands and makes friends with the humans, only to later reveal themselves as tongue-flicking reptiles.

A bit like a political party that makes wonderful promises just before an election, and then calmly starts acting worse than the guys that THEY said were reptiles. Get it?

There are now so many scams out in the streets of Dundee – people using young children to beg for money, glue-sniffers, et cetera – that one cannot help wondering if the reptiles have also taken over the streets.

I mean, how many times is that guy going to need ‘only R10 to catch a taxi to Richards Bay where there is a job waiting for me’?

Or the glue-sniffer that chases you to your car and forces his way into your vehicle in a bid to extract a few coins?

That is reptilian stuff. To elicit comment on reptile activity in End

umeni we tracked down Crocodile Dundee, who lurks in the thick overgrowth inbetween the pollution in the Steenkoolspruit.

He liked the idea of reptiles taking over, but was rather irate with all the bad publicity his species attracts.

“I mean, when are they going to make a movie where the aliens are actually Maltese poodles? But no, it is always reptiles. Look at Independence Day,” he snapped.

“Humans think wearing crocodile shoes is cool. How would you like me to start wearing some human teeth around my neck as a sign of being a ‘groot man’?”

Personally, I think we can use reptiles in a far more positive way. How about a lizard watchdog?

A crocodile car guard?

But then again, we all know about those who speak with a forked tongue…