You need to be angry. You need to be sad and you need to cry. You also need to feel that powerlessness. Stop brewing those unresolved feelings inside, they will eventually get triggered, endure them!

Through this process, you will begin to get more comfortable with the pain and hurt. Feelings of anger, grief, sadness, and loss will show up in so many ways and for so many reasons. Allow them to express themselves. Find the support you need, this is not something one can often do alone.

While you are at it, deal with your self-esteem issues. If your inner voice is harsh and judgmental, and your feelings about yourself are hateful, then you need to be made new. Process your feelings and give them, a voice. As the old feelings began to find their rest, you will begin to feel better.

You’ll be less depressed and less anxious and more comfortable in your own skin. Weeding through those difficult feelings won’t be easy, but neither was the way you had been living your life previous to having them, right? The avoidance of those feelings controlled your life in more ways than you had been aware.

We all avoid; it is human nature. We are afraid of the unknown. We are afraid we will fall and never get up again. We are afraid of spiralling out of control. We are afraid of what change means. We are afraid of what others will think. And so we avoid. We tell ourselves: “It was in the past.” People will tell you: “Let it go.” You will think: “Don’t you think I would if I could?”

Those telling you to “let it go” or “get over it” are not dealing with their own feelings. Don’t wait for someone else to make it okay for you to do what you need to do. Know yourself, understand and learn to love yourself.

You deserve that. You will be amazed at your own transformation.