A difficult but necessary conversation about boys, men and healing unfolded in Ferndale when author and social activist Dr Mzamo Masito launched his new book, This Country Hates Our Men/Boys.

The event, held at Empowaworx in Ferndale, drew community members, parents and professionals eager to engage with the book’s bold title and message.

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Masito opened with a striking line from the book: “I do not hate boys, I hate men.” He said the statement is meant to challenge society to reflect on how boys are raised and how wounded childhoods can shape troubled adulthood.

“No one is born a man,” he said. “The wounded boy becomes the wounded man.”

Drawing on more than 20 years of working with men and boys, Masito argued that South Africa often condemns men without investing enough in boys. He said boys are ‘failing and falling behind’ and that his claims are backed by data.

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He stressed that acknowledging the struggles of boys does not mean ignoring the rights of women. “Why can’t we empower girls and boys at the same time?” he asked. “It must be ‘and’, not ‘either or’.”

A deeply emotional moment came when Masito spoke about his late brother, who died by suicide. He explained that many men who take their own lives describe feeling ‘useless’ and ‘worthless’, and struggle with belonging and feeling like a burden.

Masito said he included his brother’s suicide note in the book to highlight the silent pain many men carry. “Grief is not linear,” he said. “I write partly to heal.”

He also reflected on his own journey through therapy, where he learned to name and understand his emotions. He believes many men suffer from a lack of emotional language, which limits their ability to process pain in healthy ways.

@caxtonjoburgnorth Watch: Author and social activist Dr Mzamo Masito signs a copy of his book during a book launch in Ferndale. Video: Nkazimulo Ncube #Randburg #Book ♬ original sound – Caxton Joburg North

Masito called for change in homes, schools and workplaces. He urged parents and teachers to focus on emotional development from an early age. “If we fix it at the boy level, we fix the future man,” he said.

He concluded by calling for unity across communities. “We need a new social contract,” he said. “We must raise whole boys and whole daughters to build a whole future.”

The evening ended with a question-and-answer session, where attendees continued the conversation on healing, accountability and shared responsibility in shaping South Africa’s next generation.