Know how to understand and control your anger

All of us have experienced anger in some way. We can easily think of an incident that provokes strong feelings in us.

Someone who is rude or cuts us off in traffic, a child or partner who does not appreciate us, a new tax, or a reminder of an old wrong can all provoke feelings of anger.

Anger is a basic emotional response; just as fear, sadness, happiness, or disgust are also basic emotional responses.

According to Yusuf Essack, Learning and Development Specialist for the Education and Training Institute of South Africa (Etisa), anger is a part of the more primitive fight or flight response that members of the animal kingdom can call upon when they feel threatened.

“Anger is not the same as aggression,” says Yusuf.

“Anger is an emotion and we can choose to react to it with aggression or we can put a constructive plan into action instead.

“Your body physically recognizes anger.

“An increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, flushed face, and tense muscles are all results of anger.

“In addition, when we are angry, we may lean toward whomever or whatever we are angry with.

“Once we are in the anger mode, we may also decide to stand and fight or to leave the immediate area.”

Do you know things about you that are true but you would prefer to avoid?

When people make comments about things that we are ashamed of or that we try to deny, we say that they are ‘pushing our buttons’.

“Depending on how well we have accepted our own shortcomings and how we respond to people’s comments, you may have more or fewer hot buttons at different times of your life,” Yusuf explains.

An effective way to explore what your own triggers and hot buttons are, as well as your reactions, is to keep an anger log.

Keeping an anger log will help you to become more aware of the number of times that you become angry, as well as what your reactions are.

“If you consciously commit to raising your emotional intelligence about anger, you will find that your reactions become more constructive, and you can focus on moving ahead rather than being stuck in a pattern of repeating unhealthy behaviors,” says Yusuf.

In the workplace, losing your temper can lead to some dire consequences, like losing your job.

Having a method of coping with those thoughts and dealing with an emergency situation or just maintaining an outward veneer of control can get you through the situation.