Ex-police captain shares her journey of loss and recovery

Joyce Bathebile, who served as a former captain in the police for over 30 years, has an inspirational story to share.

The 59-year-old motivational speaker of Capital Park, wants to create awareness of abuse against woman and children as at the beginning of her relationship she was too scared to speak up.

On 25 July 1994, Bathebile was shot 15 times in a domestic violence-related case while she was five months pregnant.

Her daughter, Surprise Tshivula, was born wheelchair-bound and needed 24-hour care as she cannot do anything for herself.

“I gave birth to a completely physically disabled child who had cerebral palsy.

A few years later, she lost her foster son, King Tsoei (25) who committed suicide due to depression.

“He graduated from university in 2019, and two weeks after hearing that he had passed his degree, he committed suicide.

“In his suicide note, he only said that he was scared of what he was about to do, but he was forced to do it.”

Two weeks ago, Bathebile’s mother suddenly passed away after suffering a stroke. On the same day, her brother’s leg had to be amputated due to infection.

The question is, how does one cope with a life of complete loss or absence of hope?

“It will sound so simple, but most of the time to handle these kind of circumstances, you need to believe in God.

“I did not know my son was depressed as I saw no signs of his condition.

“Don’t take mental illness lightly, it is real. I have been a depression sufferer for more than 24 years.

“I am still struggling with depression, but I am managing the sickness,” Bathebile said.

“If you don’t suffer from depression yourself, you will not realise how bad it is,” she said, adding that she had been “in a very toxic relationship”.

“I was a very serious victim of abuse. Most of the time you don’t recognise it, but I felt times would change.

“I stayed in the relationship until I realised that it became a much bigger problem that I tried to avoid.

“I was scared to get out of the relationship, but I knew I had to take the risk as at the end, one could be abused physically.”

Bathebile said God had carried all her burdens and would look after her throughout her journey.

“I take all my problems to God. He created me and He is in control.

“In a period of two years, I lost my son and my dear mother.

“God can do anything, anytime and anywhere. We do not belong to the people, but we belong to Him.”

Bathebile grew up in a Christian environment and she always knew she was a believer.

From 2014, she was critically ill and was medically discharged and in October 2016, she officially retired as a police captain.

“I felt I was losing my mind due to my emotional state.”

She now wants to motivate, not only women but also men about physical and emotional abuse.

“Women must not stay in an abusive relationship and mend their ways.

“I will never forget what happened to me. I don’t think I will ever be able to get into a relationship like that again.”

Her message to other women is to get out of an abusive relationship as soon as possible.

“It was through the mercy of God that I did not die. I believe that God used me to help other women who are in the same situation.

“Life is too short to have negative thoughts.”

She keeps a diary where she writes down her every thought and feeling she experiences.

“It helps me to process my journey as I have a lot to deal with, but somehow I cope and I take it day-by-day.

“I want to offer my help in whichever way I can,” she said.

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