Author launches book in Secunda about her journey as a black woman without a womb

SECUNDA – After years of quietly crying, being told that she was bewitched and self-guilt, Ms Zeripah Phiri (40) is speaking up for women who share the same fate.

Ms Phiri was born with Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome, a congenital disorder that affects a woman’s reproductive system.

Girls diagnosed with MRKH have vaginal agenesis, which refers to an absent or incomplete vagina. Although they have normal ovaries and will experience puberty, the uterus is absent or very small and the cervix is also missing. Women with this disorder also do not have menstrual cycles.

Ms Phiri was unaware of her condition until her wedding night. She was only 20 years old, madly in love with her new husband and could not wait to embark on her life-long dream of being a mother. She also wished to study as a teacher.

But three months without any marital bliss drove this Zimbabwean girl to the gynecologist.

“I went with my aunt with whom I lived most of my life. The verdict was unreal. I had no womb. My relatives believed I was bewitched and I was taken to a traditional healer.” Ms Phiri said she was subjected to numerous humiliating, and violating treatments.

“I was so ashamed of who I am and what was happening to me. I thought everything was my fault. My marriage was under severe pressure and everyone wanted to know everything.”

Ms Phiri’s husband was slowly swayed by his family to initially forbid her to work or be independent and finally to leave her because she could not produce offspring.

“African culture and traditions frown upon barren women and adoption was unacceptable, ” she explained.

They were married for almost four years. She blamed herself for her husband’s infidelities and their failing marriage.

“I was devastated and for a long time after my divorce, I wanted nothing to do with men. I eventually decided to be frank with any suitor so that he knows I am unable to have children. “

Ms Phiri later came to South Africa to live with her aunt and also consulted South African specialists. She was then told the name of her condition.

“I wanted to know why and how it was possible. I had so many questions, but eventually, I had to decide to let go and to live my life to the fullest.”

She is an assessor and a health and safety trainer who loves to travel. She is a designer and enjoys making cushions and home décor.

Ms Phiri joined a group that was initially begun by women from Kenya with MRKH. She later discovered a few other women in South Africa with the same condition and she was able to give them advice and support.

She is a very outgoing and sociable person and has many friends. She is therefore often invited to events such as baby showers.

“Baby showers are tough. Although I would often organise such an event, I always cry secretly at home afterward. I confess, sometimes when a woman who does not know me asks how many kids I have, I would just pretend. People often judge me, and would remark that I can afford things because I don’t have kids, or think that I chose not to have a child.”

She learned to pretend from a young age.

“When my friends spoke about their menstrual periods and discussed sanitary products, I did not dare tell them that I did not have the same experiences.”

Ms Phiri often wrote about her feelings on her social media platforms and a friend eventually suggested that she spill her heart out on paper in the form of a book.

Unbeknownst to her, the friend came up with the title of the book when she told Ms Phiri: “Womb or not, you are also a woman”.

“Some stories are written by the pen, others are written with pain.”

Ms Phiri’s book I am also a woman will be launched on 21 November at Multilink conference centre in Grey Street, Trichardt.

The public can attend the launch between 5 pm and 7 pm.

* Competition

Stand a chance to win Zeripah Phiri’s book I am also a woman, published by HELP-U-PUBLISH Africa.

Read the story above, answer the easy question and email your answer, name and contact details to editor@echoridge.co.za

Question: What is the syndrome with which Ms Phiri was born, called?

The closing date for entries is Monday 23 November. The winner will be phoned.