Bryanston Women’s Day event highlights hidden mental scars of violence

“Not all the scars left by violence are visible. A frightening encounter, an abusive relationship, or sexual assault can leave lasting emotional wounds that continue long after the immediate danger has passed.”

These were the words from Samela Hoza, a social worker from Safer City Group, during a Women’s Day event in Bryanston on August 9. Hoza urged women not to ignore those wounds and not to face them alone.

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She highlighted the connection between personal safety, trauma, and mental health, explaining that people do not always respond to danger in the same way, because the brain’s response to a traumatic experience can influence how a person reacts to future threats.

“When someone is being robbed, no one tells them that they should run. They run. Some squeal, some fight back.”

Hoza added that the body’s natural response to danger can trigger a fight, flight, or other stress response. However, she said the experience can be very different for someone who has previously been exposed to violence or trauma.

“When someone has been violated, or has been exposed to gender-based violence (GBV). It’s either in a physical way, where they are abused physically, in a sexual way, where people are raped and molested, or in an emotional way, where you are in an environment where you are always told that you are not good enough, you will not amount to anything, your brain stops functioning like a normal brain.

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“If you were ever violated, you are always going to be cautious. That is why a person who has experienced gender-based violence versus a person who hasn’t will not respond the same. People who have been exposed to GBV are always alert because it’s like, ‘I don’t want to go through that again’.”

She also raised concern about a system that often focuses more on assisting victims after violence has occurred than preventing people from becoming victims in the first place.

“The sad part about when you look at our system, a lot of things are more of damage control than prevention. It’s more about services that are available after a person is a victim and less of how we protect people from being victimised.”

Hoza also encouraged women to consider safety technologies, including panic buttons and alarms, as part of their personal safety plans.

“Your safety starts with you. As much as we are always willing to pay for Netflix, we need to also take subscriptions of things that can protect our safety, so that when something happens, there’s always help around you to come to your rescue. Your mental health comes first. If you know you are not okay, look for help.”

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Drawing on her experience facilitating therapy sessions, Hoza said one of the questions she asks clients is who they have in their lives to talk to. She said many people struggle to identify someone they can turn to for emotional support, but encouraged women not to suffer in silence.

“I know that sometimes when you are exposed to violence, there’s a stigma that comes with it, that there’s something you did for this to happen to you, but the nice thing is that there are free services. There are free, non-judgemental organisations that offer free counselling that can actually assist you. Don’t die alone in a corner.

“It’s okay not to have a good day, but if this is becoming a pattern in your lifestyle, out of seven days, five days you feel down, you don’t want to live, you have suicidal thoughts, that is a sign that we need help.”

Hoza encouraged women to exercise regularly, eat healthily, seek help, and surround themselves with positive people to manage stress and maintain emotional health.

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