‘Ted’ earns sustained applause at Tuesday Rostrum meeting

CONVERTING the garage floor into an ice rink with the aid of a five-gallon tin of slippery green paint was just one of many escapades orchestrated by a boy who was destined to become a household name in South Africa.

And although Clive Scott is now a highly respected veteran of the South African stage and screen, it appears the charming actor hasn’t lost his mischievous sense of fun.

Remembered best for his role of Ted Dixon in the South African television series, ‘The Villagers’, Clive presented his autobiographical one-man show, ‘Warts and All’ at the March Tuesday Rostrum lunch at Mbango. It was absolutely hilarious.

Clive’s relaxed delivery of the story of his life comprised a stitched-together collection of anecdotes about his childhood, his short-lived career as a banker and his early acting years.

He began at the beginning, talking about growing up in Johannesburg and Springs and a picture soon emerged of him as a real-life ‘Just William’ character.

He always seemed to be in trouble – or in the doctor’s surgery – because of some crazy prank.

Once he had to have sutures after falling, backside first, on a nail in a plank. And he landed up in the dentist’s chair after managing to a get a ‘doppie’ – South African speak for a cartridge case – stuck on a tooth.

“The dentist hated me,” he said, then went on to explain how, on a previous visit, he’d managed to topple a full display cabinet at the surgery.

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His formal education started well. By the age of four years he’d taught himself to read and he was top of the class when it came to spelling.

“I loved my teacher and my teacher loved me,” he said.

He also fell in love with Pauline van Uys, three years ahead of him at school and managed to capture her sympathy if not her heart when he was involved in a playground accident involving lots of spilled blood.

This happy state of affairs came to a sad end when Clive’s father died and he and his family moved to Muizenberg to stay with his grandmother.

He was sent to a Cape Town boarding school, where his interest in the performing arts was nurtured. He joined the cathedral choir and took part in eisteddfods, the judges admiring his voice but suggesting he learn to control his bobbing kneecaps.

His academic career did not, however, live up to its promising start, mainly because he spent much of his classroom time sleeping or looking out of the window.

“I wrote matric – but I didn’t actually pass it,” he explained. This failure put paid to his more grandiose career dreams and limited his options.

His grandmother vetoed his plans of becoming a brewery salesman or a dancer so he decided to work in a bank.

He hated his job but was delighted to earn a salary that allowed him to expand his social life and even to begin to date some girls he fancied. However, his ‘Just William’ persona persisted into his early adult years and many of these dates were nothing short of disastrous.

Eventually he was transferred to Harare, then known as Salisbury, in what was Southern Rhodesia, for “two very drunken years”, after which he decided he’d had enough of banking. His next move was to swinging London then to Denmark where he followed a short-lived career as a cherry picker.

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Returning to London he decided to become an actor on the strength of his on-stage experience, playing a jam tin in a school play.

He enrolled at the Webber Douglas School of Dramatic Arts and embarked on what would eventually become a very successful acting career, in spite of some hilarious on-stage setbacks.

Returning to South Africa, Clive decided to audition for a part in a new South African series called ‘The Villagers’. At the reading he was dismayed to discover his character said absolutely nothing 58 pages into the script. Even then ‘Ted Dixon’ had only a single word to say.

Clive’s audience watched in amazement as he transformed himself back into the Ted of old, demonstrating how he had made the most of his chance to shine, putting so much expression into the word, “huh”, that he’d earned the part.

Clive’s dramatic use of this simple word became something of a Ted Dixon trademark, helping the television character to capture the hearts of television viewers throughout South Africa.

Meeting the actor behind the popular character, years after the last Villagers episode had played out on South African screens, it was easy to see that the role of Ted had been tailor-made for the funny, lovable, talented, quintessentially South African actor who’d brought Ted to life. For many years fans even addressed Clive as Ted – and loved to talk to him about being a miner.

Clive’s show ended with well-earned and sustained applause.

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