For a teenager, falling in love for the first time can be both exhilarating and scary, but these confused feelings are normal.
Now as Women’s Month draws to a close, a 19-year-old would like to leave a thought with all as to why Women’s Month is observed and celebrated.
ALSO READ : Pennington child porn peddler pleads guilty
Women’s Month is an opportunity to celebrate and reflect on women’s achievements, as well as the problems they have faced in the struggle to be free and the important role they continue to play in society.
For this teenage girl from Marburg, dating for the first time has left physical and emotional scars that she will remember for life.
She has endured the worst possible treatment and it will be a long time before she can possibly trust men again.
She has spoken out about her year of love, broken promises, an abusive relationship and abduction. To protect her identity and that of her family, the teenager will hereafter be referred to under the pseudonym of ‘Beauty’.
Her future with a 32-year-old man from Umzinto looked very promising and she was swept off her feet in July last year.
She met him through work, as they both worked at the same company. They started to talk, became friends and started dating and soon Beauty’s ‘Beast’ met her parents.
The abuse
A month later, the two rented a property in Port Shepstone and moved in together. On August 9, Women’s Day, the abuse started and Beauty’s boyfriend hit her. She stayed up that night waiting for the morning to report the abuse to the police, but ‘Beast’ was quick to apologise and she forgave him.
She was too afraid to tell her parents of the abuse and put it behind her. Soon the abuse and beating started again.
Sometimes, at work, her friends could tell what had happened as the abuse was visible on her hands and face.
Her friends told her to leave him. ‘Beast’ would get information about what had been said to her and, at home, he would question her and hit her.
“He would hold my hands and throw me against the wall. He would hold me around the neck until I blacked out. When I got up in the morning he would apologise. In August he asked if I would move with him to Cape Town. He promised he would change and be a better partner and I believed him.”
Cape Town
“We moved to Cape Town and everything looked fine. I soon found a job, but he didn’t. A month or two later, when I arrived at the flat one night from work, I noticed he was taking drugs. I questioned him and he got abusive and hit me. He threw me from wall to wall, scratched and punched me. That night I sat crying and thought of my family in Port Shepstone. This would not have happened in the care of my parents. I went to the police station and opened a charge of domestic violence.”
Living in fear, she could not take any more abuse. She explained to his aunt what had happened and that she had opened a charge of domestic violence. She was told by his aunt to drop the charges and give him a chance.
The escape
“The aunt said if he hit me again she would have him arrested. He soon got the message from his aunt and I received the worst abuse ever. When I blacked out he locked me in the bathroom. While he slept I planned my escape through the window. I jumped down and ran to a security guard at the complex and was helped by a resident who protected me.
Beauty was taken to a police station and the police contacted a safe house in Cape Town.
“The very same night, he begged me to come back but I explained to the owners of the safe house that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore and wanted to go home to my parents. On June 19 this year the safe house paid for my bus ticket back home and I was glad to be welcomed by my loving family.
“As it is Women’s Month, I want to tell all young girls and women to break the silence and speak up. My reason was that he always got his way with words. My family was threatened by his family and that was why I dropped those charges against him during all those times of abuse. My talking about what I went through hopefully brings peace and helps me move forward. Yes, one day he will have his day, when he meets God,” said Beauty.
HAVE YOUR SAY
Like our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter and Instagram
For news straight to your phone, add us on WhatsApp 082 421 6033
