Fidler in the Hood: Liquorice is good for you!

GREETINGS, everyone. Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Or a combination of both? The old adage that ‘no news is good news’ is really a contradiction in terms. I’m supposed to be the scribe reporting neighbourhood news, however, nothing much happens in Uvongo and the ‘Bonus’ doesn’t do fake news. What’s a scribe to do to make an honest living? On with the show.

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Good news

We stumbled across a local shop selling Pontefract cakes. If you haven’t tasted Pontefract cakes, you’ve missed out on one of life’s true delicacies. That’s news? Rumours spread like wildfire around town, limited stocks were sold out in hours. Seems I’m not the only sucker (of sweets) in town. I had to explain to the CO that Pontefract cakes are world famous and eaten for ‘medicinal purposes’. She wasn’t convinced, retorting that eating 350g of liquorice in 15 minutes flat could not be conducive to good health. My theory is that the sooner they (or any other sweets) are eaten, the easier it is to resist temptation, so better to get it over and done with. Any old excuse to relive childhood memories, okay? The diet starts next week.

Bad news

Yes, it does happen. Much to the mirth of the CO, I accidentally put my foot on the wrong pedal and reversed my ‘new’ car into the wall and windows of our home, damaging both.

Now, there’s nothing worse than being rhetorically asked ‘why did you do that? ’ I conceded that it might have been my fault, but fortunately it wasn’t too bad, just a few dents and scratches.

However, owners who have love affairs with their cars will know what I mean. The CO claimed I was under the influence of too many Pontefract cakes… She does have a way with words.

Nice news

Last week’s ‘Tribute to the Carpenters’ was a huge success. Evan Roberts, Shylo Pereira and Samantha Anderson did a sterling job of playing and singing The Carpenters’ classic hits, which were well received by an appreciative audience. Shylo and Samantha wore eye-catching, elegant dresses and Evan Roberts looked every bit the smart, stylised accompanist, tapping the old ivories. It is no mean feat presenting such talented shows on a regular basis and the public’s support is much valued. Congratulations, Liz Curran and team. Keep up the good work – you may yet be mentioned on the New Year’s Honours List!

Happy news

Congratulations to Ray and Judith Money of Uvongo who celebrate their diamond wedding anniversary (60 years) tomorrow, October 4th. Well done. The couple has had a full and adventurous life together and like the rest of us, a fair share of highs and lows. Time waits for no one, but memories and experiences are forever. Ray and Judith are not in the best of health at the moment – Ray has hung up his rugby boots and turned to repertory theatre acting. His first starring role will be as Long John Silver in ‘Treasure Island’ in this year’s local pantomime. His wit and mind are as sharp as ever – you can’t keep a ‘Suffolk Man’ down for long, even when silver-lined. Cheers to many more years together, Ray and Judith. Good luck.

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Back in The Saddle Again

My life’s dedication to ‘wine, women and song’ and supporting my beloved Manchester City, have begun to take its toll. The compulsory annual medical check-up had to be faced. The usual tests were carried out, including a serious workout on the dreaded treadmill. I thought a lifetime of work was sufficient, all part of the treadmill of life. Not so. I awaited the results with bated breath, something I seem to have run short of these days. ‘Give it to me straight, doc. Am I going to live or die? ’ The specialist looked me straight in the eye. ‘You’re going to die; but not this week, nor for some time yet. However, you should lay off gobbling too many Pontefract cakes!’ Fair trade-off, I figured. So, it’s back to the ‘sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll’ scene on the Hibiscus Coast. You don’t get rid of me that easily! In the meantime, I’ll just go round to that sweet shop and confirm that all the Pontefact cakes have been sold out. See you, Rob.

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