Fidler in the Hood: How to be popular with women
Giving the game away would mean less ‘Pontes’ to gobble down if everyone knows where to ‘score’.
HEY, there! The saga of the Pontefract cakes continues, friends. Meandering through the Shelly Centre the other day, your scribe had the dubious honour of a woman ‘chasing’ him. Not having experienced being ‘sexually harassed’ for a very long time and very much aware of political correctness and gender equality these days, one has to be very careful. “Hi, Rob,” she breathlessly declared “It’s me, Jill Gregory. You know me. I work in Mary and Ted Morley’s shop.”
ALSO READ : Fidler in the Hood: Pontefract cakes – elixirs of life
Can you keep a secret?
“Your articles on Pontefract cakes: You said you bought them in a shop in Shelly Centre. Which shop? I just love Pontefract cakes.” Hesitant pause. After all, giving the game away would mean less ‘Pontes’ to gobble down if everyone knows where to ‘score’. “Okay, Jill, but I want your word that this secret is strictly between us and doesn’t get out, okay?” The name of the shop, scribbled on a piece of paper guaranteed to self-destruct in one minute flat after reading, was passed to a jubilant Jill. Another satisfied customer.
Spilling the beans
A couple of days later and again strolling in the Shelly Centre, the pitter-patter of tiny feet could be heard. “Stop, stop, Rob!” What is this sensuous hold over women? (Yeah, right!). This time it was Rae Plaskett from the same shop where Jill Gregory worked. Immediately figuring ‘Uh, oh, the secret’s out. Gregory’s Girl spilled the beans – if not the Pontefract cakes.’ Your scribe was cornered, but, as Rae ‘turns up’ his Manchester City football shirts, he felt obliged to stop and face the music.
“Just wanted to say I loved your story on Pontefract cakes. I always thought Pontefract cakes were like real cakes – Christmas cakes, for example – I didn’t realise they were ‘toffees’.”
Shock and awe reigned. Followed by an explanation that ‘Pontes’ have ‘very beneficial, aphrodisiac powers’ and can make a person feel young again. Rae wasn’t fooled by the claims. It takes all sorts – including liquorice all sorts. All correspondence on Pontefract cakes is now closed.
Charity wors roll sale
Having come to the conclusion that it’s a waste of time trying to lose that unwanted girth (get it?) down here, here’s an offer you cannot, and should not, refuse. The Rotary Clubs of Hibiscus Coast and Uvongo invite everyone to their ‘Rotary International Polio Awareness Charity Wors Roll Sale’ this Saturday, October 27, from 8am onwards. The event will be in the parking area in front of and around the Uvongo Spar in Marine Drive. All proceeds go to Rotary International for the total eradication of polio worldwide. A noble and worthy cause, don’t you agree? So, please, come along and join in. The good news is that the area in front of and behind Spar has been declared a ‘pothole-free’ parking area, so no worries there!
Moondeckers meet
Tonight, (Wednesday, 24th) will hopefully see the full moon make an appearance. The monthly Moondeckers get-together takes place at the Ramsgate whale deck from 5.30pm. It’s a happy social event, even if cloudy conditions overhead occasionally obscure the moon. Lovely people gather for good conversation, helped along with ‘a bit of that wot’s does you good’. The setting is marvellous, with superb views over Ramsgate beach and when the full moon does put in appearance, it makes it all worthwhile. Ramsgate Conservancy is doing a tremendous job – the natural vegetation surrounding the area is quite a treasure. Well worth a couple of splendid hours of your lives – and your contribution to ‘world peace’!
ALSO READ : Fidler in the Hood: Return of the ‘Pink Panthers’ … and pink people
Listen to My Music
Mbango Valley Association in Port Shepstone, will hold its monthly music recital tomorrow, Thursday, October 25th. It’s a great outing filled with music from yesteryear. Everyone is welcome. It starts at 2pm and finishes at 4pm. As Al Jolson used to paraphrase “You ain’t heard nothing yet!” So, grab your coat, get your hat, leave your worries on the doorstep and enjoy a couple of hours of nostalgic music. See you, Rob.
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