Hope for abused women and children
The founder of the organisation was herself the victim of abuse.
Women who are abused are in an extremely precarious situation, often requiring alternative emergency accommodation to escape their abusive partners.
In an ideal world, an abusive partner would leave the family home and allow the woman and children to remain.
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However, this rarely happens and it is usually the abused woman who has to escape her home, often under circumstances of extreme stress and violence.
As South Africa observes 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children (which runs December 10), there are still many women and children who continue to suffer.
One such woman is Shireen Govender, who lives in Hibberdene. She registered Hope Village as a non-profit organisation several years ago and hopes to start a shelter for abused women and children.
A victim of domestic violence herself, she wants to share her story and create awareness that women should be encouraged to open up about abuse and and not keep it hidden behind closed doors.
A victim of abuse
“For 16 years I stayed in an abusive marriage, and the most asked question is why did I take so long to leave? There were many reasons, not least of which was because I loved him and I thought he would change. We have three children and I wanted to maintain our family unit. I wanted the abuse to end, not my marriage.
“There is no denying that leaving an abusive marriage is difficult, scary and requires much courage. I left when I realised that if I stayed there would never be peace and happiness for my children. With support from my family, I found the strength and courage to leave.
“With no money and no job, I found a place to rent. I wasn’t sure how my children and I were going to adjust to this new life. On the day I moved out, I received a call from my previous employer saying that if I wanted my old job back, I could start the very next day. This was all I needed to start my new life.”
In the meantime, her ex-husband tried to maintain control by stalking and harassing her, and intimidating her by texting death threats. If he couldn’t get hold of her on her cell phone he would call her workplace.
She was however determined to remain strong and made a promise to herself that she would never give up, no matter how bad things became.
“The first years of separation were the most stressful and difficult times of my life. As a single mother taking care of three children who were still at school, the financial burden rested on my shoulders as my ex-husband refused to pay maintenance.”
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What hurt her the most, she said, was when her eldest daughter completed matric and wanted to further her studies, she was aware that she wasn’t in a financial position to assist.
“The disappointment on my daughter’s face when I told her this almost broke me, but through hard work, sheer determination and the help of a bursary my daughter is now a clinical associate.”
Vacant property
Ms Govender has identified a vacant property – the former tennis courts and squash clubhouse in David Drive, Hibberdene – owned by Ray Nkonyeni Municipality.
Her urgent request to the municipality is to lease this property to Hope Village so that the building can become a beacon of hope to the many abused women and children on the South Coast.
She also called on government officials, businesses owners, and the community to be part of this journey to bring Hope Village to reality.
“There is certainly happiness at the end of the nightmare. If you’re healing from an abusive relationship it is important to forgive yourself. I urge all women and children to come out of the darkness by shining the light on abuse and talking about it. Shame and fear can only survive in darkness. ”
Anyone seeking support or who would like to help with the establishment of the shelter can contact Ms Govender at 074 6927113.
Hope Village recently expanded to form Hope Village Youth. Anyone interested in joining the youth organisation can contact Jenusha Balmith Rampersad at 071 2579525.
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