Taste Test 2019: All eyes on mince pies
After much hmmming and ummming, the results are in in the Herald's annual Christmas mince pie taste test.
It’s that time of the year again, the annual mince pie showdown at the Herald. Now don’t get me wrong – most staff members are up for a freebie when it comes to food: hot cross buns for Easter, choccies at Valentine’s – no problem. Mince pies for Christmas – not so much.
ALSO READ : Why Christmas mince pies are called mince pies
“A bloody disappointment, why call them mince pies if there’s no mince?” said one disgruntled colleague. “It’s almost like popping an olive in your mouth and expecting a grape,” said another.
Not to be deterred I gird myself to face the hordes of shoppers at our local malls to purchase packets of mince pies.
Up first is Checkers at the Southcoast Mall where I make straight for the bakery section. At R36.99 for the festive fruit mince pies and R44.99 for the chocolate fruit mince pies, I dither over which to take when my train of thought is broken by an ongoing howl nearby. Looking up there it is, a child in the front of a trolley, face all puce and scrunched up, in full voice. Snatching up both packets I am out of there pronto.
Hey-ho it’s now off to the Shelly Centre I go. First stop is Woollies for their six fruit mince pies at R39.99. As I look up from my pondering there stands a woman in what can only be described as being in the throes of a glorious ‘mutton’ moment. Dressed in hot pant dungarees (I kid you not) she purses her surgically enhanced overblown lips, which look like a trout out of water in its death throes, as she clicks her artificial Christmas embellished nails over the packets. I back away, mince pie packet in hand.
Then it’s on to Pick n Pay. By now the crowds have grown substantially so it’s time to do the trolley ram.
Determinedly I make for the mince pie section scattering loiterers in my path. Prize in sight, I am stopped in my tracks by a man ambling along in front of me. Barefoot, he is trundling around the supermarket, with his blackened hobbit feet on proud display. No, this is a supermarket for crying out loud. Buy a pair of mock crocs if you must. Picking up the Pick Pay deep filled mince pies at R37.99 I dash for the checkout line.
Last on the list is Spar, where I find myself behind two young girls doing the lobster walk of shame. Bright red from top to bottom at the back and lily-white in the front they scuttle, crab like, wincing every now and again as they make straight for the after sun section…too little too late for them, I think to myself as I plonk the Spar fruit mince pies at R34.99 in my basket.
Back at the office, it’s down to the nitty-gritty. The testing panel assembled, they are let loose to begin the blind tasting.
After much hmmming and ummming, the results are in.
Coming in first are the Checkers festive fruit mince pies, with comments ranging from “loved the orangey taste of them” to “looks homemade”.
Second place went to the Woolies fruit mince pies, with tasters saying “looks traditional and it’s good on the palate”.
Third was a tie between Spar fruit mince pies and Pick n Pay deep filled mince pies, with the comments being “nice pastry but a bit of a
sour taste” to “the pastry needs to complement the taste of the filling.”
Bottom of the log were the Checkers chocolate fruit mince pies. All bar one member of the taste panel disapproved of the ‘newfangled’ confection.
Comments included “They need to stop making chocolate mince pies” to “not an original Christmas mince pie, why mess with the original?” to the sole “the chocolate one is very unusual – loved it.”
So there you have it, folks. Wishing you all a fabulous festive season and a great new year, mince pies or not.
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