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Butthead’s beat: Champagne protesters not needed

Before you take to the streets in mass protest this Friday, examine your true motives.

TO march or not to march this Friday, that is the question.

This newspaper has to stay neutral to a degree. However, we are only human and we can understand the need for some… if not many… to show solidarity with those worried about apparent ‘state capture’ and the axing of Pravin Gordhan as Minister of Finance.

Let’s face it, he had many friends here too.

But, before you don black, blue or whatever colour and down beach towels to ‘bring the country to a standstill’, if only for a day… examine your priorities.

(Just to digress, surely ‘a day’ is a bit ambitious – especially on the Slow Coast – because most marchers will still head for some pub or restaurant afterwards, especially as it’s school holidays.

What needy hospitality business will be prepared to forfeit money now, especially after taking a knock over the water-less, crap-infested festive season? So the prediction is that it will actually be business as usual here.)

South Africa’s economy has already been relegated to ‘junk status’, so we can safely predict that prices across the board are now going to go up, we can safely say that businesses are going to take strain, we can safely say that jobs are going to become even more scarce… and there could even be mass retrenchments.

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The above is going to affect the poorest of the poor most and, if it is them that you are most concerned about, then by all means toyi-toyi, hoot, make a noise and voice your discontent, as Mr Gordhan himself has suggested.

However, just realise that this widely perceived national crisis over leadership (or the lack thereof) is far greater than party politics and we must be careful not to detract from this by squabbling along those lines.

On the upside, this might just be a unifying factor.

Then, if you can’t see the absolute stupidity of the following WhatsApp post, please stay at home:

“Friday 7 April 10am. Meet at the entrance to Laura Lane/Porter Avenue. We will walk together to Melrose Arch Tasha’s Square. Bring your children, your caretakers, your dogs, your live-in security and housekeepers.

Anyone in our larger community must join and march. Now is not the time for apathy. Let’s help in what small way we can to join the voice against corruption.”

For those who don’t know, Melrose Arch is an uber-wealthy precinct in Johannesburg and ‘Tasha’s is to die for, doll.’

Please, lady, crack another bottle of Bollinger… you’ve missed the plot.

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