OF course there are weird and wonderful characters in any community. However, having lived and worked in many locations throughout the country spanning 60 plus decades, one can confidently say those one finds on the good old ‘Suipkus’ are hard to top.
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Fun-loving and big-hearted golfing group Pro-vision held its annual Manchester United vs Liverpool shootout at the Port Shepstone Country Club last Sunday and Butthead (an avid Man U fan after his parents bought him a pair of George Best boots in the 60s) was drawn to play with two such characters.
They might have been keen, but they are certainly not destined to play in the Million Dollar any time soon. But then their real passion is deep sea fishing.
Sharing a few ‘dops’ with these two after a fun day proved to be highly entertaining… and one’s even tempted to set foot in a bobbing boat again, in spite of being prone to hurling one’s lungs out.
“Don’t worry… I’ll sort you out quick quick,” said the rather garrulous… and front-toothless skipper. “I will give you those orange and yellow capsules that they give people for… EPILEPSY!”
He says the normal stuff that doctors prescribed for motion sickness and nausea might work sometimes, but they also make one feel sleepy.
“Why are you out on the sea? To catch fish. If you are asleep, you can’t catch fish.” Profound!
Heaven knows what doctors would think of that, but anything to get a crack at a giant musselcracker.
Both were keen to show off fishing scars after being cut by sharp, hidden gills in fish a non-fisherman has never heard of. The skipper’s buddy – who also happened to be a pilot during the Angolan war – displayed a deep gash from a ‘Protea bream’. He had squeezed the wound out only that morning so he could hold a golf club. “Fishing’s not for sissies, hey.”
He was also full of good advice, even for golfers.
“When you are looking for your ball in the rough, never scan from left to right because that is how you read. Scan the rough from right to left because your eyes will pick up the ball more easily,” he said.
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He learnt that while he was with the infamous 32 Battalion.
Manne, it was a great day on the course and now I look forward to a great day with you on the sea too.
My new buddies are the… ‘salt of the sea’.
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