Touch… pause… release!
Now that we know Cyril Ramaphosa has the inside track to become our next president, Santa has finally been able to crack the whip and his eight trusty reindeer are jingling through the night skies across Africa from the North Pole.
Some say that’s why the weather is unusually foul at this time of year, the over-laden sleigh pushing the Arctic wind before it.
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One can picture Santa grumbling into his cellphone to his lady-in-red (apologies to Chris de Burgh): “What nut decided to hold a political conference in South Africa a mere week before I have to dish out toys to all those millions down south?”
No presents for you, Uncle Gwede Mantashe! It even took an age to announce the winner on Monday. One cartoonist suggested that it was because our current president, Jacob Zuma, was counting the votes himself.
For the record, there are eight reindeer – Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. According to Wikipedia, they were first named by an unknown poet in 1823.
A ninth reindeer, Rudolph, was added some time afterwards, possibly to appease all those who use this sacred time of year to over imbibe on alcoholic beverages (hic).
Santa definitely took a back seat to the Nasrec conference.
But now it’s time to bury politics if only for this weekend and to reflect on exactly what this time of year means to us (apart from no running water and poo in the lagoons).
Some will celebrate their faith, but most will no doubt eat and drink too much as usual and then stress about how to pay their bills in January.
Whether data scientists have bothered to study this is not clear, but the smart money is on the most popular New Year resolution being… shedding the weight gained from the excesses of the season.
One would think that this would mean a saving on one’s credit card, but no way! ‘Healthy’, often tasteless food is way more costly than the junk that gets one drooling.
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For example, nuts are said to be really healthy, but who can afford them these days?
Really frustrating is the fact that the South Coast is rapidly becoming world famous for top quality macadamia nuts, yet we locals still pay top dollar, even for the damaged ones.
No doubt the delegates at Nasrec were fed mass-produced junk food for days and would give their kingdom for a nut right now.
No, not you, Cyril.
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