Royal weddings certainly aren’t everyone’s cup of Earl Grey, although one has to admit the new Duchess of Sussex is rather lovely.
Some ladies togged up for the occasion and hostesses emptied supermarkets of cucumber to make sandwiches.
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Meanwhile, their cruder halves searched for pubs to tune into rugby and to build up cholesterol levels with baskets of Russians and chips as usual.
Coincidentally, rugby fans also witnessed a right, royal… ‘divorce’… live on Supersport between commentators Ashwin Willemse vs Naas Botha and Nic Mallet, the former leaving the latter two stranded at the studio ‘altar’.
Hopefully, our former president was also glued to his TV screen on Saturday to get a few tips for when he ties his next, next, next, next, next, next, next knot.
A certain pub in Banana Beach had a nasty surprise when a gang of seven armed, masked wedding-poopers made a pit stop and relieved patrons and staff of all their belongings before they could decide on what to watch. No wedding, no rugby… only True Crime.
Personally, this past Saturday’s Anglo/American affair at Windsor also brings back memories of a dastardly crime slap bang in the middle of Prince Harry’s mom, the late Diana’s wedding to his dad, Prince Charles, going way back to 1981.
There we were, ‘glued’ to the TV screen for hours… and hours… when there was a suspicious noise coming from the kitchen. It was rather a welcome distraction, actually.
Super sleuth Butthead surprised a young chap standing in the kitchen clutching his wife’s handbag.
The would-be thief dropped the bag and hightailed it out of the back door, this ‘brave’ journalist in hot pursuit.
His only escape route was down the side of the house. The thief glanced over his shoulder, frantic to see how close his one-man posse was… and promptly tripped over a mound of garden rubbish, landing flat on his back. Nicked!
Meanwhile, the family had pressed ‘pause’ on the remote and were looking out of the window to see what was happening.
The sight will be embedded in their memories forever: The hero-of-the-house running on the spot, frantically signalling and mouthing to the thief to get up and continue to make his escape.
After all, it’s one thing catching a thief, but what the heck does one do then? Sit on him until the police arrive?
And so he fled, finding time to turn, grin sheepishly and wave his thanks as he trotted down the road.
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