For those of you who religiously follow this blog, you may have noticed that we skipped last week.  What with the holiday on Tuesday, the deadline for submitting my blog passed while I was still dreaming about off time.  Nevertheless it is healthy to have a break from time to time!

It has been said that the person who talks to us the most is our own self.  Self-talk has a profound impact upon our emotions, our self-worth and our accomplishments.  If we are in the habit of deprecating ourselves, why should we expect anyone else to do any better?

ALSO READ : Turning the Tide – The role of emotional well-being in promoting health (5)

Of course past experiences – exposure to bullying at school, critical parents or teachers, jealous or hurtful classmates, or traumatic childhood life-events – can all lead to poor self-image and negative self-talk.

Here is a helpful article by Dr Gregory Jantz on the value of positive self-talk.

A quote someone I love very much often shares is:  “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.”

The problem is that dwelling on the negative robs one of joy and enthusiasm for life at the very least, but more seriously it can impair mental well-being and vitality.  Negative thoughts have great power to impede progress and growth of emotional well-being.

Dr Daniel Amen is a psychiatrist who has written widely about the power of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).  I will outline the 9 most common types he identifies.  Some lists include up to 30 ANTs.

1. All or nothing – in this thinking pattern everything is either black or white – there is no grey. For instance if you break a resolution, then you are a failure; if you skip your exercise session, then you may as well give up; if you light up a cigarette after promising to quit, then it is hopeless to try to quit.  A positive approach would be to acknowledge that our journey has its ups and downs, twists and turns – but the general direction is forward and upward.
2. “Always” thinking – words such as “always”, “never”, “every time” or “everyone”. This kind of thinking makes you feel doomed – the barriers are just too great.  This approach is closely tied to the following:
3. Focusing on the negative. The saying “every cloud has its silver lining” is very true.  No bad experiences are devoid of some benefits.  If you have not reached your goal of 10 kg of weight loss within a set time frame, be excited by the fact that you have lost 5 kg; that you have made some positive changes to your diet; that you are feeling more energetic.
4. Thinking with your feelings – “I feel like no one is interested in what I have to say!”, or “I feel I am wasting everyone’s time!” Sometimes this is a cry for reassurance and affirmation, but it can also reinforce negative perceptions about your journey to health.  Acknowledge the effort others are doing to help you, and concentrate on working together with them.
5. Guilt beating. This includes using words like “should”, “must”, “ought to” and “have to”.  Guilt is not a good motivator for change.  It is much better instead of beating ourselves up because of our failures, to focus on the benefits of change – and those benefits start to manifest quite soon.
6. Labelling – this is when we indulge in personal name-calling “I’m a failure”, or “I’m lazy.” To quote Dr Amen: “The problem with calling yourself names is that it takes away  responsibility for your actions and behaviours.  If you are a loser, a failure, or lazy, then why bother trying to change your behaviour?  It is as if you are giving yourself a way out.
7. Fortune-telling – this is predicting the worst possible outcome to any situation: “Both my parents had diabetes, as did my grandparents.  So nothing I can do is going to make a difference.  I’m doomed to a life of diabetes!”  The problem with this ANT is that it denies that you have any power over your future – makes you feel destined to ill-health when in fact it is very possible to buck the trend.
8. Mind reading – when you jump to conclusions about what you think someone else is thinking about you. It is helpful to stop and listen to others first, ask questions with an open mind and think the best of their intentions.
9. Blame – this is the most destructive – when you blame others for your problems and don’t take responsibility for your successes or failures. “It’s your fault that I ….” Or: “It’s may Dad’s fault because he always pacified me with sweets after punishing me”.  These ANTs make you a victim, and as a victim you are powerless to change your behaviour.  Recognise your power to chose positive behaviours – even if you need some help and support.

Here is more information about these points.

In our next blog we will begin a series on the role of diet in both causing and managing or reversing lifestyle related disease.  This is a very broad subject, and also somewhat controversial.  We will do our best to present evidence-based, rational information.

In the mean time, maintain Covid protocols.  I notice the numbers are slowly creeping up.  We can’t afford to become lax.  The crisis is not over yet.

Dave Glass

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