Opinion

HEATHER LIND: Oribi mom – No wedding video to show our sons

If we had invested in a professional videographer that day, we could have shown our sons what their parents, aunties, uncles and other friends looked like.

Many of you may already know that it sometimes pays to go through your cupboards and boxes.

All three boys are transitioning into the next clothing size and I was taking a hands-free 20 minutes to fold laundry and sort things out. When the piles of clothing were finally back into the right spaces, my eyes fell on a shoebox right at the back of the shelf.

Oh yes, Mom brought that over a few months ago and I haven’t had a chance to look in it yet.

As I opened it up, I realised it was a few things from my childhood room; some wedding invitations, a photograph or two; printer’s tray items. How sweet to remember the little ornaments I spent so much time looking at and playing with as a girl. Too delicate to pass on to rough and tumble toddler boys just yet, though.

As I scanned the items, I saw an envelope with a single name on it in my handwriting. Who is that? Let’s call him Ben. I only remembered one person by that name – a boy in my primary school. I didn’t remember ever writing him a letter, so I opened it. Three R100 notes fell on the floor! And as I read the note, it became clear.

“Here’s something to say thank you for taking our wedding video. Hope 2008 is a wonderful year for you!” Oh, that Ben. The one who offered to film our wedding almost 15 years ago. The friend who never arrived.

That’s right, we don’t have a wedding video to remember our very special union at 21 and 23. Those fresh-faced young people in the photographs are captured in still frames only, their sincere voices and excited celebrations a distant memory now. Wedding guests didn’t have smartphones to capture clips of the day. There wasn’t even WhatsApp.

“Car trouble, sorry,” the message said as we were dressing for our long-awaited big day. We’d dated for six years and were finally old enough to tie the knot.

As we stood overlooking the ocean and said our vows, only the guests and gulls bore witness. We signed papers and we beamed at the prospects of what the future might hold for us. Guests swam between the ceremony and the reception to stave off the oppressive January heat. Speeches and friends’ songs made everybody cry and laugh. And then, we moved on with our lives.

Maybe if we had invested in a professional videographer that day, we could have shown our sons what their parents, aunties, uncles and other friends looked like and how they sounded at the start of something beautiful.

Thankfully, we’ve invested more wisely into marriage. Love takes work, but the reward of reaching 15 years with three kids and a full memory bank has been worth it so far.

And, now we have some cash to go on a well-deserved date night one of these days to celebrate. Happy early anniversary to us.

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