‘I am…’ It is only two words. These two words became Esmica Govender’s lifeline.

The 42-year-old woman’s eyes closed for a moment before she told her story.

Her journey began in June 2021 when the results of a blood test she had to undergo for a life policy shattered her dreams.

“I never would have imagined that the word leukemia would be part of the conversation I had with the lady from the laboratory that did the blood test for my policy. On the other side of the line, someone was telling me in not so many words that I had a life-threatening disease.”

What the doctors found is that Esmica had a type of blood cancer.

“In simple language, this meant that my red and white blood cells did not work together as a team to protect my immune system.”

As she relives the moment of hearing those words, a silent tear strolled down her cheek, “It broke me into a million pieces. I had a thousand thoughts racing through my head. Would I see my daughter, Tesmia getting married one day, would I see my son, Tristan grow into a young man with his own family, what would become of my husband, Steven?”

Esmica does have medical aid, but she refuses to go for chemotherapy.

“I serve a living, wonderful, amazing God. The One who has already paved my future. I am putting my trust in my God’s hands,” is the sentence she armoured herself with.

Then a good deed Esmica’s brother, Vivek Surrendra did for a doctor in Durban, paid its own way forward.

“My brother is a nurse and he helped the doctor’s niece during Covid. Two weeks afterwards the doctor phoned him up and said if he ever needs something, he can just contact him. He raised his concerns about my condition with the doctor and before I knew it, I was on my way to Durban where the doctor did tests to confirm the initial diagnosis.”

The doctor also suggested chemotherapy, but again Esmica refused.

“The doctor’s words still echo through my mind. He called me a stubborn girl! He is a Muslim and I decided to speak faith so that he realises that I am making all my decisions based on the knowledge that my God is the great ‘I am’.”

The doctor prescribed vitamins that she takes regularly and up to date he has not charged her for a consultation or a test.

In May Esmica received the outcome of a series of blood tests she had to undergo in April. The tests showed that her count went from stage two to stage one.

Esmica shared her story on stage at New Life Church recently and she described one of the breakthrough moments in her journey against cancer.

“Pastor Ryan Langkilde prayed over me and I felt an indescribable warm feeling going through me. When he looked up, he was crying and he said, ‘Esmica, God wants you to know that you are going to be a living testimony of His healing power. Your job is far from done’. “People stop me and ask me about my God and this is what I tell them. I am human, and I am far from perfect, I also have questions and I sometimes wonder how did this happen? When in a moment of weakness I too wonder who is the one keeping me strong, who is the one behind this amazing puzzle called life. But then I hear a ruffle in the wind and a gentle voice embracing my thoughts, ‘I am…’”

Esmica holds on to her faith that she will be completely healed and one day sees Tesmia walk down the aisle and Tristan become the man she always dreamt he will be.

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