The perfect gift for dearest mother-in-law

THIS article begins with a disclaimer: None of the mothers-in-law mentioned below are connected with me, my family, my friends or my work colleagues.

So, we have no idea why anybody would want to give these dear female relatives by marriage, who are so close to our hearts, gifts such as a ticket to the Caribbean in hurricane season.  Or a holiday at the Valley of 1 000 Hills, with one month on each hill. Or a flight in a hot air balloon…free, if she supplies the air.

The point is, given the ‘mother-in-law’ typecast in society, it is extremely difficult to find the perfect present for the old battle-axe, sorry, community stalwart – one which she won’t find fault with, despise or not appreciate.

As one man complained: ‘I gave my mother-in-law a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. She went and lost it.’

Another said: ‘I’m not giving her anything this year, because she still hasn’t used the present I gave her last year…a burial plot.

Why the jokes?

According to Wikipedia, ‘The humour is based on the premise that the average mother-in-law often considers her son-in-law to be unsuitable for her daughter (or daughter-in-law unsuitable for her son), and usually includes the stereotype that mothers-in-law are generally overbearing, obnoxious, or unattractive.’

Which logically leads to the ‘getting back at her’ type of humour.

Like these, from various sources:

*‘I really DO have a soft spot for my MIL. It’s out in the garden behind the garage.’

*‘Did you hear about the man who threw his mother-in-law into the lion’s den at the zoo?

He’s being sued by the RSPCA for cruelty to animals.’

*‘When my mother in law was alive, I used to get up an hour earlier so I could dislike her for longer.’

*‘I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for two years. We haven’t quarreled. I just don’t like to interrupt her.’

*‘I bought my MIL a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn’t plug it in.’

*‘I take my MIL on holiday with me. That way, I don’t have to kiss her good-bye.’

*‘I don’t say my MIL’s ugly… but around our way, the peeping toms are giving themselves up to the police.’

*‘The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step. She said, ‘Can I stay here for a few days?’ I said, ‘Sure you can.’ And shut the door.’

Eish!

So, what to buy dearest mother-in-law?

Forget the obvious, like a broom; or some seeds if she likes gardening; or material if she enjoys sewing; or a recipe book if she likes to brew potions in the kitchen.

No, get her a joke book!

Because most mothers-in-law have a wonderful sense of humour and will probably laugh loudest of all – even if the joke’s on them.