Walking away from an abusive partner is not always as easy as it sounds, according to gender-based violence (GBV) survivor and activist Shareen Scheepers Matangi.

She said this was especially true for her own relationship.

People often ask why victims do not simply leave, but Matangi said it is not that straightforward. “This took place when I was just trained and certified to be a first responder, somebody who deals with cases such as GBV,” she said.

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“I was aware of the dangers. I was aware of what was happening. I understood how the abuser operates. But trust me, it was never easy to get out.”

Although Matangi is independent now, she said there was a time when financial dependence kept pulling her back into the relationship.

“Once upon a time in my life, I found myself very vulnerable,” she said. “And I depended on this man. So, I kept going back.”

“I could see the dangers, and I could see that I could be the next statistic, but I kept going on thinking that he wouldn’t do that to me.”

She said it took a near-death experience to jolt her awake. “I ended up being injured, but covering up for him now and then to a point where I could not take it anymore because the abuse continued,” she said.

At one point, she opened a criminal case and appeared in court, but later dropped the charges. “There is always an apology, and I believed that he wouldn’t do it again, but it continued,” she said.

She eventually managed to walk away from the relationship.

Recently, she joined a group of men and women at Organic Market near Alexandra for a walk to raise awareness about GBV, in the hope that no woman will ever again have to stay in an abusive relationship. It was hosted by the City of Johannesburg’s Social Development Department.

GBV Brigades representative Lizzy Sithole stressed the importance of the awareness walk, noting that some victims, with support, are cornered by relatives and advised to withdraw charges against perpetrators.

“It happens in some families where if a person has allegedly abused another person, they would say, ‘Let’s sit down and resolve this as a family,” she said.

She revealed that this pressure is a serious obstacle to justice, especially since the abuse often continues.

Also read: Youth event breaks GBV silence in Alexandra

Sithole added that some victims are silenced by threats of physical harm if they speak out. The GBV Awareness Walk sought to show them that they are not alone and that help is available.

Department of Social Development Region E representative Lebogang Mathope said such campaigns also unsettle perpetrators, sending the message that the community will not turn a blind eye while women continue to be abused.

Mathope said it was equally important to teach people what to do as soon as they find themselves confronted with GBV.

She said this was exactly what they intended to do at Greenville, shortly after leaving a site along Cambridge Road where they laid flowers and lit candles in remembrance of the women whose bodies were found dumped in the ward in the past.

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