Taking a stand against bullying

She is the school’s values co-ordinator and presenter, and co-ordinator of all assemblies.

In addition she is the life orientation teacher and Rotary Interact Club co-ordinator.

She is also the deputy of the school-based support team who are responsible for counselling and learner support.

Here are the aspects she covered on bullying, with which she provided valuable advice and information to prepare students for how to act against this behaviour.

With this, she included videos and example scenarios, including her own story:

Simply stated bullying is:

• Intimidating or subjecting a person to hostility or ill treatment.
• Physical, verbal, or relational harm: (involving actions which cause another person to feel afraid, humiliated, embarrassed, threatened or shamed).
• Characterised by intentionality; repetition.

Bullying happens in different forms, such as:

• Verbal: teasing, joking and threatening.
• Physical: blocking someone’s path, physical restraint, pushing or kicking.
• Sexual: teasing, touching or slapping.
• Relational: excluding, creating rumours and gossiping, or ignoring or isolating.
• Electronic or cyber bullying (eg. via text, Facebook, email): texting harmful pictures or video clips.
• Material: hiding or damaging belongings, theft, arson, extortion, vandalism or destruction.

Bullies target others who:

• Often show an element of “otherness” (do not fit in).
• Face a physical challenge (being overweight, small, disabled, peculiar posture, wearing glasses, speech impairment, hearing aid, facial appearance).
• Are cognitively different (top achievers, academically challenged, LSEN).
• Are economically and socially different (clothes, parents, car, suburb, etc.).
• Are shy, sensitive, anxious, insecure.
• Another race.
• Another gender (homosexual, trans gender, masculine girls, feminine boys).
• His/her religion.

Boys who bully:

• Intimidate.
• Extort.
• Attack physically or verbally.
• “Boys are like bears, using muscle and brawn over brain.”

Girls who bully:

• Exclude socially.
• Manipulate.
• Spread rumours.
• Set up a victim to look stupid.
• “Females are like vipers; they strike quickly and only the strongest can hold them off — females exclude, tease and drop snide comments easily.”

Contributing factors associated with the behaviour of bullying are:

• Family factors.
• Lack of attention and warmth.
• Modelling of aggressive behaviour at home; poor supervision.

What motivates a bully?

• Bullies prey on an imbalance of power.
• They may be seeking attention.
• They need to make themselves feel more important.
• They need a particular reaction from the other members of the group.
• Lack of attention and warmth.
• Modelling of aggressive behaviour at home.
• Poor supervision.

Dealing with bullying:

• South African Schools Act: Section nine – suspension and expulsion

Tips to avoid being bullied:

• Do not bring expensive things or money to school.
• Stay around friends.
• Avoid unsupervised areas.
• Sit near the driver on the taxi or walk with a teacher to class.
• Do not walk alone and avoid places where bullying occurs.
• Get funny:
• Do not act scared.
• Tell the bully to stop threatening.
• Say “no” to a bully’s demands from the start.
• Avoid or ignore the bully.
• Do not physically fight back.
• Seek immediate help from an adult.
• If you fear for safety, report it to an adult.·
• If safety is at stake, walk away or run if needed.
• If threatened with a weapon, give in to the demands and immediately tell an adult.

Individual level: bystanders:

• Eighty-five per cent of learners are bystanders – neither the victim nor the bully.
• Power to stop bullying lies with the bystanders.
• Bystanders may feel guilty or helpless for not standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim.
• Fear reporting bullying incidents because they do not want to be called a “snitch”.
• They may feel unsafe or unable to take action, or feel a loss of control.

Strategies for bystanders:

• Refuse to join in (instead of laughing along or teasing the bully’s target, just stay quiet).
• Walk away when bullies are acting up (most bullies want attention from the people who watch).
• Distract the bully so he or she stops the bullying behaviour.
• Stand beside the bully’s target (you are aligning with the victim).
• Speak out (this step is a bit more difficult and takes courage. If possible, get a friend or two to join you. Simple phrases like “Leave her alone” or “Stop picking on him” can really undermine the control a bully has).
• Report any bullying you see (know the difference between tattling and reporting).
• Work with others to reduce bullying.
• Your action will send a message that the hurtful behaviour is unacceptable.
• Discuss ways to resolve conflicts between students and to better treat isolated or new students.
• Report any incidents to educators.
• Anti-bullying advocacy: communicate and enlist the support of friends, parents and community in your effort to decrease and prevent bullying.