COLUMN: Boys to men – in a flash

It is said that tide and time waits for no man.

Days, weeks and months swirl together at lightning speed, creating a chaotic cacophony of memories muddied by stress and the ever illusive battle to find balance.

I am privileged to be a mom of two strapping teenage boys, who seem to have pushed fast forward on growth and development.

Their feet have expanded well beyond the cutesy confines of the children’s section.

The pitter-patter of rushed little steps hastily making their way to my room, seeking refuge from the dreaded monster under the bed, has grown silent.

Instead, it has been substituted with the flop of man-sized flippers, as they creep up to the fridge with the stealth of a seal lion for a midnight raid.

Their T-shirts depicting superheroes mid-action, have been replaced with slogans and emblems blazoned on the fabric and toothbrushes are selected for optimal cleaning between braces, instead of being based on the season’s favourite cartoon character.

I now look up at these towering brutes, relying on their newfound height and strength to open sticky jars or to reach high beyond my tippy toes.

Where has the time gone?

Where are my tiny bundles of joy with a need for my constant attention?

I know I am not the only parent to witness my children going through the growing pains of adolescence, nor am I the only one who thinks that time is a heartless thief.

The other night, I found myself completely transfixed watching the ‘brothers bear’ babble about the happenings of their day.

For a moment, I caught myself in the company of two strangers.

Standing in the heart of our home, we were discussing world matters and giggling at uncouth jokes – and yet, I was in the company of two young men with their own opinions and wickedly wry humour.

Their raspy voices became inaudible as I searched their faces for a sparkle of the children I once cradled in my arms.

From the crowns of their heads to the sharp edges of their jaws, my eyes traced their features seeking a hint of their squeaky laughs or a glimmer of curiosity in their eyes.

Before collapsing into a puddle of tears, complete with wailing and ugly bawling, I was drawn back to the present with words of familiarity – mom.

In that moment where my heart ached with the realisation that my ‘baby blues’ had long outgrown their shoes, my anguish was overshadowed with the greatest joy.

I may have been holding on to the tots they once were, but as rough and gruff as they may appear, these boys – my boys – are now holding my hand, inviting me to be part of the growing chapter of their lives.

As we navigate through life, we often find ourselves reaching into the past, trying to find comfort in familiarity.

This however, could cloud what is standing right in front of us, in the present.

My boys may no longer come to snuggle on my lap, nor will they ever again insist on building an elaborate winter dorm for snails and frogs.

They may longer challenge me to build the tallest tower, instead they’re looking to me to approve their new-found style.

Parenting is tough. Some days we cook up beautiful memories and the next we crack a few eggs while trying to figure out the new family dynamics.

Time nor tide, indeed, waits for no man.

Teenage years are brief, bitter, sweet, messy and a cooking pot of emotions but the reward is witnessing your child morphing into the person they were meant to be.

As an added bonus, you have the opportunity to become the parent your child needs during all the noise of growing up.

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