Youth on youth violence shatters community

WHILE a devastated Newlands East mother prepares to bury her son, two teenagers from the Wentworth area have been arrested in connection with the fatal stabbing of Montreal “Monty” King at the BP ECR Durban Day concert at Moses Mabhida’s People’s Park on Sunday evening.

Still reeling from shock, Monty’s heartbroken mother, Charmaine King, an unemployed community worker told Berea Mail, that her son was a passionate soccer player who dreamt of becoming a policeman. “He wasn’t a fighter and really wanted to get into the police force,” she said.

A close friend of the family said, “Monty was a well known and well liked young man in the community. He was decent and played in a soccer team from the age of eight. He played for Newlands United as a little child and now played for Juventus. He and his friends were no gangsters, they all played soccer and were fine young men. I think having soccer in their lives keeps them of the streets because they were focused and didn’t smoke or drink.”

SAPS spokesman, Colonel Jay Naicker said the 19-year-old was fatally stabbed in the chest and left arm. “The motive for the killing is unknown. A case of murder was opened at Durban Central SAPS for investigation,” he said, adding that police arrested the two suspects after working around the clock. Both suspects are said to be around 18 years old. One of the teens sustained minor injuries to his hand during the same incident.

“He wasn’t a fighter and really wanted to get into the police force,” – Charmaine King, mother to Monty.

Naicker said the weapon believed to have been used in the murder had also been recovered. Both suspects will be charged with murder and attempted murder.

Meanwhile ECR’s general manager, Boni Mchunu, went on-air on East Coast Breakfast on Monday morning saying, “We want to offer our condolences to the family. There is no easy way to accept the loss of a human life and I think that we are both heartbroken and shocked at this incident.”

Community members expressed their concern on social media over safety controls, crowd control and security at the event.

Responding to social media speculation that there was overcrowding at the event, Mchunu replied, “The venue wasn’t overcrowded. Capacity at People’s Park is determined by the city and the safety officer and we are guided by them. Whilst capacity was 18 000, ticket sales were capped at 16 500.”

On the question of security at Durban Day, Mchunu reiterated, “A lot of people are involved in an event of this size – this is why the city is involved, safety officers who’ve worked on some of the big events in the country and our team. We are obsessive about safety – from a resource point of view, everything was taken care of,” she said.

According to the family friend, Monty had recently participated in a police recruitment drive and had been waiting for the results. “It will be heartbreaking when his results come home. Charmaine does so much community work and always helps where she can, this is really too much. She’s a single mother who is now saddled with funeral costs on top of this great loss,” she said.

The funeral service for Montreal King will be held at Assembly of God Church in Newlands East on Saturday, 12 September from 9am.

Durban families speak out

Samantha Horn was instantly brought to tears after news of Montreal King’s death, which brought with it all the pain of losing her brother Kerwin to a similar youth on youth crime.

“I know first hand the pain and destruction murder brings to a home. How many lives are altered because of one senseless action. As far as my experience in this, I understand its spoilt kids who are becoming murderers. Parents need to realise that they need to stop spoiling their kids with material things and learn to love and spend time with them instead, as this gives kids a sense of entitlement to do whatever they want with no consequences. They don’t appreciate anything and have temper tantrums with others around them when things don’t go their way.

“Families will never be the same after losing a son or loved one to murder. The hardest thing is getting up everyday and carrying on with life, going to work, dealing with people, but your thoughts are always on the incident. It is emotionally and psychologically exhausting” – Tracy Pillay, mother of Kurtlee Pillay.

Tracy Pillay, the mother of Kurtlee Pillay who was brutally murdered last November, said while her son’s murder was pre-meditated, she still has difficulty “fathoming how these children got to that place.” “Families will never be the same after losing a son or loved one to murder. The hardest thing is getting up everyday and carrying on with life, going to work, dealing with people, but your thoughts are always on the incident. It is emotionally and psychologically exhausting” she said.

Pillay said she was very concerned after hearing about another youth on youth murder. “They (youth) don’t seem to be equipped with the tools to resolve conflict and usually turn to violence. I believe our youth need prayer and intervention collectively as parents, a community, city and country,” she added.

Durban clinical psychologist Dr Sherona Rawat sheds light youth killing youth phenomenon.

“The main reasons for this phenomenon is a lack of parent support or nurturing, inadequate parenting and discipline, children being unsupervised and left to their own devices at a very young age and substance abuse. Other reasons could be attributed to trauma and abuse, pathology such as personality disorders, psychiatric illnesses such as bipolar mood disorders, and other clinical conditions,” Rawat explained.

All of these reasons lead youth having “a disconnection with the world, lack of compassion and can affect judgement and individuals perceptions of reality.”

“Parents need to take responsibility for their children. Part of taking responsibility is justly and legitimately disciplining and teaching their children how to behave and perform within a community and society as a whole. In addition, children learn by copying the actions of those close to them. Parents need to understand that they need to be the best role models for their children. If you are aggressive, deceitful, violent and opportunistic your child will think that it is okay to be that way since his or her parent is. No one can do this for the child better than a good parent.

The best way for a parent to nurture their child is to be loving yet disciplined. Teach with compassion, understand your child and then show them a better way of coping with difficulties. It is not about being perfect, it is about taking the time to teach your child right from wrong and being able to practice the same yourself.

Advice for families facing devastation of youth murders

The loss of a life is devastating. Not only does it unsettle a family and rob them of their loved one but also of his or her contribution to their lives and the world as a whole. Once that individual is gone, nothing and no-one can replace that human being and so it is a very dis-empowering place to be especially when that individual was murdered because the anger that one feels over the fact that someone else’s impulsive actions has robbed them of their loved one for ever can be totally crippling.

When one loses a loved one, one not only loses that person but also ones hopes and dreams, which included that person over a life time. Family members need to get help in managing their grief from a professional in such situations as the grief is complicated and can develop into more serious pathology should it not be resolved adequately.