Ekurhuleni social worker speaks on mental health, family struggles and purpose

Nadine Landman, a social worker with Solidariteit Helpende Hand in Ekurhuleni, shared her journey of becoming a social worker driven by a purpose to serve.

Speaking during the organisation’s first leg of its East Rand Social Future Plan initiative, held at the Social Hub Club, Landman reflected on her path into social work and the experiences that shaped her calling.

The event brought together people working in the social services sector to share ideas, strengthen networks and equip one another with practical tools for the work ahead.

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Discussions focused on understanding new legislation, building partnerships and finding ways to respond more effectively to the needs of communities.

Speaking about social challenges, the conversation with GCN touched on men’s mental health and the frustrations many boys carry into adulthood.

“On boys failing to express and interpret their feelings, it is difficult because they normally do not have someone to hear them out.

“You find them being misunderstood, and they end up getting into drugs or medication because, to be honest, how many families sit with boys to understand them on a different level?” she said.

She said society often focuses more on the development and emotional needs of girls, while boys are sometimes left behind.

“At schools, we have talks for girls about changes in their bodies and we donate sanitary pads. But what about the boys? They start growing beards, they struggle to talk to girls, and they may lose confidence,” said Landman.

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She added that boys and men are often judged harshly.

“If a man is soft, people may call him gay. If he is too masculine, they may call him aggressive,” she said.

Landman believes that a two-parent household can play an important role in a child’s development, although she acknowledged that this is not always possible.

She said the absence of a father or mother figure can affect children differently.

“With girls, we sometimes see them drawn to men who have possessions because there was no father figure in their lives.

“With boys, it can be different. Some men chase women because they are trying to fill the motherly love they missed their entire lives.

“People may call them players or lover boys, but sometimes they simply do not know how to care for, respect and protect a relationship with a woman,” she said.

Landman said social workers often see how family dynamics affect children.

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Reflecting on her own life, she said her family background inspired her to pursue social work while she was still in high school.

“I knew I wanted to work with children. One of the girls in my class was researching careers, and social work became interesting to me because of the family dynamics I had experienced,” she said.

She recalled how her mother cared for her sister’s child, and how that situation affected the family.

“My mother cared for my sister’s child, and I saw how those dynamics divided the family and affected me, as well as the child caught in the middle.

“Our new normal was living with my niece. Then her father came and took her away. She would only visit on weekends, and as she grew older, she had her own choice whether to visit or not,” said Landman.

She said many families struggle when they have to share limited resources, such as space, money, food and parental attention.

“As social workers, we often see situations where a child in a nuclear family struggles to cope when a niece, cousin or another relative is placed in the home by social services.

“Sometimes the resources in the house are no longer shared as freely as before,” she said.

Landman said every situation she faced motivated her to work harder.

“For me, every situation motivated me. I had to work while writing my matric exams,” she said.

As a mother, she said she now understands some of the difficult choices parents make, especially when those choices affect their children.

“As a mother now, I understand how some parents end up doing what they do, especially when it directly affects a child. That is why, when we deal with an issue, we have to remain calm and objective,” she said.
Landman also spoke about the emotional toll of social work.

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She said working in informal settlements was sometimes frightening, and social workers often carry pain silently.

“You toughen up, but sometimes you break down in your car on your way home or when you are alone,” she said.

She recalled working throughout her pregnancy and giving so much of herself to her job that it affected her relationship with her baby after birth.

“I remember my baby was born with colic because I worked through my pregnancy. When she was born, I had little connection with her because I had given everything to work.

“I worked until the Friday before the Monday I gave birth. My husband was threatening divorce because he did not know what to do with a baby who cried all the time. We had to take the baby to a chiropractor,” she said.

Landman said social workers need time to debrief and recover emotionally, but they are often more focused on their clients than on themselves.

She said her purpose has always been linked to helping children.

“I believe my purpose is to work with children and help make the world better by changing one child’s life at a time,” said Landman.

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She added that people often misunderstand the role of social workers.

“Believing that a social worker is a miracle worker is wrong. We are here to help, not to break families, but all parties must put in the effort,” she said.

She said it can be mentally difficult to carry other people’s challenges while also dealing with personal struggles.

“Because of the nature of our work, we are not allowed to have down days or bad days. If we do, people say we are rude, like they sometimes say about nurses,” she said.

Landman admitted that her own challenges after giving birth made her start to resent her job, but she later remembered why she entered the profession.

“Because of what I went through with my baby, I started to resent part of my job. But then I remembered the calling; everything clicked,” she said.

Landman has been a social worker since 2009. She started at a children’s home before moving to a Thuthuzela Care Centre.

She recalled one case that deeply affected her.

“I remember when I started there (Thuthuzela Care Centre), a little girl came in and needed reconstructive surgery after she was raped with a bottle. She was just a little girl,” she said.

Landman later moved into child protection services, where she believes she truly found her purpose.

She added that many social workers still work without enough resources, even though they are the ones who need support the most.

“We had social workers from the Department of Social Development coming to work with us for experience. You can work in the biggest DSD office, but you will not get the same experience that you get in child social services,” she said.

“That is why we had the Social Future Plan initiative, to advocate for fairness, resources and collaboration among ourselves,” said Landman.

She said that despite the emotional challenges that come with the profession, their commitment to serving others keeps them going.

“We go through a lot, but because we understand that we are not here for ourselves, that is what keeps us going,” said Landman.