Esther Park resident Tshepo Ndlovu has shared his personal journey of losing his way and finding his faith again through his debut memoir, Confessions of a Pastor’s Kid: My Journey to Finding God.

The book was launched on July 11 and explores Ndlovu’s experiences growing up as a pastor’s child, his struggles with identity and purpose, and the journey that led him back to his faith.

Ndlovu grew up in ministry in Vosloorus and said being a pastor’s child meant being involved in many aspects of church life.

“As a pastor’s kid, I wear many hats and I’m very active in the ministry that my parents are leading in Vosloorus. From connecting the church sound to being part of the worship team to becoming a pastor, I have always been involved,” he said.

Ndlovu said the book was inspired by his desire to share the Gospel through his own experiences and encourage others who may be struggling.

“Honestly, I want to preach the Gospel and through my book, which also talks about my journey to finding God, I want to inspire people to turn to God.

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“Go to God broken, go to God as an alcoholic, go to God as you are and I know He will set you free,” he said.

The memoir, he said, is an honest reflection of hardship, mistakes and restoration.

“In the book I undress myself so that people can see my scars, to later getting dressed and helping others see better in their situation,” said Ndlovu.

He said the book is aimed at pastors’ children, pastors, church workers and their families.

Ndlovu described himself as a pastor’s child who lost his way, saying he experienced a period where he became distant from God, his church and his family.

“I started seeing my family as not worthy of my attention and love just because I wanted life to be a certain way,” he said.

He said this period included substance abuse, unhealthy relationships and friendships that influenced his choices.

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“Substance abuse played a huge role in me drifting away from God, my family and from the purpose of my life,” he said.

Ndlovu said his turning point came 14 years ago after the birth of his son and what he described as a personal encounter with God.

“I had to choose life or death and here I am. I chose life.

“I knew I had to do better. I knew I had to be a better father, better child and better servant of the Lord,” he said.

He compared his journey to the biblical story of the prodigal son, saying he realised he needed to return to his faith and repair relationships with his family.

“I stepped away from my father’s covering. When I realised how messed up I was, the first thing I did was run back home to mend things with my parents,” he said.

Through his experiences, Ndlovu said he learned the importance of seeking help rather than suffering in silence.

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“I chose to die in silence while I could ask someone to help me. I slowly became silent and chose to numb the pain instead of healing,” he said.

His message to his younger self would be to remain faithful and trust that his life had purpose.

“Buddy, don’t leave the covenant. There’s a big plan for your life, please hang in there,” he said.

Ndlovu also highlighted what he believes are challenges faced by pastors’ children, including expectations placed on them and misconceptions about their lives.

He encouraged pastors’ children who feel lost to rediscover their purpose, while urging pastors to make time for their families.

“God calls the man or woman and their families. Pastors need to spend time with their children,” he said.

He added that churches should have support structures in place for pastors’ families, saying those families also need care and understanding.

Ndlovu said one of the most personal chapters in the book focuses on his wife, who supported him throughout his journey.

“She stayed through the pain and saw me becoming the best version of myself,” he said.

The most difficult part of writing the memoir, he said, was acknowledging the hurt he caused people close to him.

“Publicly I lived a reckless lifestyle and publicly I shall confess my wrongs and publicly I will preach about God,” he said.

Ndlovu hopes the book encourages conversations about people who may be struggling silently and how communities can support them.

“If one person returns to Christ after reading my book, that would mean my assignment is done,” he said.

He is currently working on three additional books and plans to host events for pastors’ children in Johannesburg and Zimbabwe.

His long-term goal is to encourage pastors’ children to honour their parents’ ministry, support their families and contribute towards healing future generations.

Readers can connect with Ndlovu on TikTok: @tshepospeakstruth, Facebook: Sinqobile Tshepo Ndlovu, Instagram: @tshepospeakstruth and YouTube: @sinqobiletshepondlovu.