PALLO Jordan has resigned his posts in great humiliation – because it turned out his PhD was fake. That was an honourable thing to do.
Would other senior government employees who lied about their qualifications do the same?
But there is some interesting background to this: Pallo’s father, AC Jordan, was one of the first black professors at UCT. Apparently Pallo intended to register at UCT and, with his father as mentor, also become an academic.
However, before he could register at UCT, Hendrik Verwoerd, in his wisdom, decided differently. He banned black students from white universities. In the process Verwoerd totally messed up black education, which is why there is now such a shortage of black science and mathematics teachers. But that is another issue.
Allegedly Jordan then went to study at an American university where he had obtained 57 credits towards his degree, when the US Dept of Immigration kicked him out. Apparently he had overstayed his allotted time.
So, one feels some sympathy for the man. And at least he is more honest than many of his ex-colleagues.
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And then there was an Indian school of business, run by Moosa Patel. When the time came for his daughter to be married, Moosa said to her: “As custom dictates, I have chosen a husband for you.”
She demurred and wanted to know her future husband’s name. “Bill Gates,” said Moosa, and with that she was quite satisfied.
Next, he approached Bill Gates and suggested that Gates marry his daughter.
“Why would I want to do that?” asked Gates. “Not only is she very beautiful,” said Moosa, but she is also a director of the World Bank. Think of all the contacts she has!”
Gates thought about it for a while and then said: “OK, I’ll do it.”
The next approach Moosa made was to an acquaintance at the World Bank. “How would you like to appoint my daughter as one of your directors? She has very high status. After all, she is married to Bill Gates!”
The official thought for a while and then agreed. “One more director wouldn’t make much difference. She has got the job!”
And that is how one transacts a business deal in India.
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AMCU, it is said, has protested strongly about the recent earthquake. Their spokesman said: “If the rest of the country can have 5.3 on the Richter scale, we demand 10,6.”
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Here’s a useful bit of standard seven science that you have probably forgotten:
How do you cool a warm beer by 10ºC in two minutes?
This is what you do: put a trayful of ice cubes and a little water in a bowl. Now add three tablespoons of salt to the ice mix. Stir well, and then immerse your can of beer in the bowl.
According to experiments published by Foodstuff SA, the temperature of the beer will drop by 10ºC in two minutes.
And, by the way, if you’re curious about that, it is all about thermodynamics; the salt needs energy to dissolve in the ice, and simply takes it from its’ immediate vicinity.
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An old friend (and a frequent contributor to this column) told me a good story some while ago. His name is Bruce and he is a vet somewhere in Natal. He also farms – or used to – which means he had lots of snakes to contend with.
So he caught these snakes and kept them in a special cage in his surgery, presumable for milking.
One morning, while consulting at the surgery, he heard a loud noise. It turned out to be the local municipal workers in a protest/ trashing mode. They were running up and down streets, emptying garbage bins on everybody’s driveway, which they then kicked around to create as much mess as possible.
Bruce didn’t feel like having his driveway trashed, so he took a handful of snakes, walked down his street and put one in every (as yet untrashed) bin.
It was not long before the toyi-toying masses got to Bruce’s street and started kicking over bins.
There were loud cries of alarm when they saw the snake in the first bin. So they left that and fled to the second bin – which also contained an irritated snake. The bins were declared to be bewitched and the protest march stopped right there at bin number two.
