Struwwelpeter: What Max du Preez said in a letter to his editor

What do you call a Zulu who is trying to panel beat a cabinet?

Answer: Press-e-dent

(Thanks Mariano)

* * *

Since Independent Newspapers (Pretoria News, The Star, Cape Times) has been bought by the Sekonjula group, a great deal of unfortunate things have taken place. Which is why Struwwelpeter has cancelled his subscription to the Cape Times.

First they fired the editor. Then half a dozen of my favourite columnists, including Max du Preez. Je Suis Max!

This is what Max said in his letter to the editor (Abbreviated)

Dear Karima,

I’m sure you have noticed that I have been feeling increasingly uncomfortable about my association with the Independent Media group through my weekly column in three of you titles.

I have written about what has been happening at your group since the takeover by Sekunjalo on more than one occasion, especially after their infamous axing of Alide Desois as editor of the Cape Times, and have been in debate with some of your senior colleagues on social media.

You probably also know about my private letter to the editor of the Cape Times, Gasant Abarder, when it became known that veteran journalist Tony Weaver was charged with “disrespecting the authority” of his seniors.

Your decision to accuse me in your statement of factual inaccuracies in my column on President Jacob Zuma and to apologise to him came as a shock – especially since I gave you a full explanation of what I was referring to beforehand. You did not even have the decency to send me your apology in advance or to inform me that it was going to be published.

I thought my explanation would have convinced you that an apology in this matter would have been a travesty.

All readers interested in this matter now know that there was no inaccuracy in my column. The question is: did the judge call the relationship between Zuma and Shaik a corrupt one? The answer is: yes. In fact, that judge was backed by four others on the bench of the SCA using their own words, not those of Judge Squires.

You knew this when you went ahead and apologised anyway to please the presidency and the party he leads.

My unease grew even more when I saw that you and your colleague, Vukani Mde, had donned ANC clothing when you attended the ANC’s birthday party on the weekend. When I read you and Mde’s arguments about you political allegiance and your attacks on those who thought this was outrageous behaviour for any journalist, I thought I must be living in a parallel universe.

I suddenly understood why you were swayed to knowingly publish a false “correction” and apologise to the president of the party you have pledged allegiance to on the basis of that falsehood. It appears to me as if your political party’s interests now weigh more heavily with you than ethical journalism.

I started Vrye Weekblad. Our stated objective was to expose the evils of apartheid and to let the voices of the majority and of liberation movement be heard in the Afrikaans community. In the process I not only completely bankrupted myself, but I picked up five criminal convictions, inter alia for quoting banned ANC leaders and furthering the aims of a banned organisation, and escaped an assassination attempt and an office bombing.

When Vrye Weekblad was closed down in 1994, I joined the SABC where you and I were colleagues. Six years later I was unceremoniously fired because I insisted on professional and independent journalism.

The SABC bosses (all since departed under various clouds of suspicion) told the media I was fired because I didn’t respect the senior leadership at the broadcaster. I could not deny that charge.

I am there again. I’m writing a column for a group with leadership I no longer respect. I feel tainted by my association with the Independent Media group. It is time to depart once again. I will betray my own past if I don’t. I will no longer be writing a column for your group.

A last thought. You, Karima, have on several occasions declared that those criticising your group’s decision-making are simply against transformation. You consistently dismiss those asking questions of those in power as “liberals” or “neo-liberals”.

The transformation the media in South Africa need is not a replacement of critical voiced with loyal ANC cadres. The transformation we need is for the media to fight harder for a clean and accountable government; to hold up a mirror to entire society rather than just to the urban elite; to champion the cause of the marginalised rather than comfort the already comfortable.

Yours sincerely Max

* * *

Last month, scientists at the prestigious University at Baden-Wurtenberg, Germany released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

(A) The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

(B) To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one hour period.

1) It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects argued over nothing

2) Refused to apologise when obviously wrong

3) Gained weight

4) talked excessively without making sense

5) became overly emotional

6) Couldn’t drive

7) Failed to think rationally. And

8) Had to sit down while urinating

No further testing was considered necessary.