Struwwelpeter: this is how government works

ELECTRIC car pioneer Tesla, and their Japanese partners, Panasonic, have now completed their new “home battery”.

This device, known as the Tesla Powerwall, stores power from the grid – or even from voltaic panels on the roof and makes one independent of Escom power cuts.

In fact, if your roof panel is big enough, it will make you completely independent of Eskom. And the price (presumably excluding the photovoltaic cells on the roof) will be a mere R41 500.

That is not a lot of money when you consider the implications – getting Eskom out of your life!

The Powerwall comes in two sizes – 10 Kwh weekly cycle or 7 Kwh daily cycles, and if you like you can have it in the form of sleek sculptures inside your house.

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A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, “I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.”

The man behind the counter says, “The 18 holes of golf is no problem. But all our caddies are out on the course. However, we just received eight brand new robot golf caddies. If you’re willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today.”

The golfer accepted the offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, “I think my driver will do the job.”

The robot caddie turned to the man and said, “No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole.”

Hestitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance. And this was the way the rest of the game went. The robot’s suggestions were always correct and the man’s entire game was the best game he had ever played.

A week passed and the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, “I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please.”

The pro turned to the man and said, “Well, the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints.”

“Complaints? Who in the heck could have complained about those robots? They were incredible!”

The man sighed and said, “Well. It wasn’t their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal and the sun reflecting off them was blinding other golfers on the fairway.”

The golfer said, “So then why didn’t you just paint them?”

“We did. Painted them red. Then four of them didn’t show up for work, two of them applied for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop and the other one thinks he’s going to be the next President!”

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And now some psychology from Scorpio:

If you start with a cage containing four monkeys, and inside the cage you hang a banana on a string. Next you place a ladder under the banana. Before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb towards the banana.

All the monkeys are then sprayed with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes and attempt with the same result. All the monkeys are sprayed with cold water again. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now you put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new monkey. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, replace another of the original four monkeys t with a new monkey. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm – because he is now part of the “team”.

Then replace the third original monkey with a new monkey, followed by the fourth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked.

Now the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating up of the newest monkey.

Finally, having placed all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the ladder for the banana. Why? Because in their minds, that is the way it has always been!

This is how governments work, and this is why from time to time, all of the monkeys need to be replaced at the same time!