‘Bystanders often play huge part in bullying’ – Doctor

Dr Tiaan Kirsten is the man you want on your side when it comes to assisting children in need as he is both a psychologist and a lawyer.

Recently, he was approached by a school in Gauteng and asked to help with a bullying problem they were having. After a lot of research, he wrote a programme that can help eradicate bullying culture in schools. He now hopes that schools will implement this programme in future.

Also read: Bully can also be the ‘cheerleader, quiet kid’ – LifeLine

He believes that it is not only the responsibility of the children and teachers to eradicate bullying but also that of parents and even the management of the school. Additionally that the Children’s Act says that bullying can be a form of child abuse and that all organs of the state (including schools) are responsible for respecting, protecting and promoting the rights of children.

Dr Kirsten added that bullying behaviour (although not regularly) can lead to outbursts of violence as seen with school shootings in the US.

Apart from the different types of bullying, there are also different types of bystanders. He added that bullying rarely occurs one-on-one and bystanders often play a huge part in bullying.

There are four types of bystanders namely followers who do not necessarily initiate the bullying but who still play a major role; re-enforcers who do not partake in the bullying but give the bully some kind of positive feedback which is like oxygen for bullies; the outsiders who just keep quiet and stay away and lastly the defenders, those who stand up to the bullies and if you have a big strong defender this can stop instances of bullying.

Also read: Why bullying should be taken seriously

Bystanders can also sometimes be scared of the bully themselves or use the instance as a way to improve their social standings.
He believes the only way to prevent bullying is to ensure the right systems and policies are put in place by everyone – policies devised not only by teachers or management but which involve the learners and their parents.

Dr Kirsten added that bullies can sometimes also have problems at home and learn many of their behaviours from their parents. Conflict management is one of these, if a parent yells at a teacher at school, what is it teaching the children?

Another factor he picked up on when he recently spoke to the management of a school was that bullying has increased post Covid-19 lockdown. His research revealed that many of these families were forced to stay together, resulting in some not having enough conflict resolution skills for instances like these, which might have resulted in more irritated parents and students.

If you would like to talk to Dr Kirsten in this regard you can phone him on 082 547 7655 or contact him at the InPsyght Center in Krugersdorp on 011 660 7847.