In the Lord’s prayer, one line has often haunted me.

“Forgive us our sins as we have forgiven those that have sinned against us.” “As”. But have I really forgiven is a question I was asked recently. What is it to really forgive?

Many years I experienced betrayal and hurt from someone who was close to me. A Christian, a friend who stabbed me in the back. For a few years, every time I drove past his house, I found myself wishing bad things on him. I knew better but my hurt was so deep, I could not stop it.

If you asked me, “Have you forgiven him”, I would have said yes. But the truth was, I just could not forgive him. But through that journey I learnt about true forgiveness. It is not a moment, it is a process. The pain is still there, the memories crystal clear. I have relived that time in my life over and over. Today I am free, thank God. How do I know for sure that I have really forgiven that person?

Today, as I drive past that home or when I think of that person, I honestly and sincerely wish him the best. I will probably never fully trust that person again, but I am convinced that I have forgiven. If you have been betrayed, rejected or stabbed in the back, if you, like myself, know better but you cannot forgive, pray for that person or those people.

Pray that God will bless them, then walk away, counting all your own blessings. PS. Forgiveness is not a moment, it is a process.