A young woman (18) spoke out about the abuse she endured at the hands of her father, who was recently sentenced to 18 years imprisonment. She is telling her story to vindicate herself, but also to set the record straight after noticing alarming themes being discussed about her personal circumstances after news of her father’s sentencing began circulating.

Her father (56) was sentenced in the Roodepoort Magistrates’ Court to 18 years imprisonment for the rape and sexual assault of his biological daughter on February 28. The crimes took place over a five-year period from when the girl was seven until she was 12.

He stopped after she began to ask her father pressing questions about his behaviour. Not satisfied with how her ordeal was portrayed by some media outlets, the now 18-year-old wishes to tell her own tale.

Read initial article here: Father sentenced to 18 years in jail for sexual assault of own daughter

The young girl’s road to recovery would begin when a school sexual education talk awoke her to a horrific reality.

“My teacher told everyone that sex should only be for adults and those who are married. She also taught us about boundaries and consent over our bodies, and how we were allowed to say no, even to adults,” Kayleigh (surname withheld on request) recounted.

“I remember being almost shocked at what she said as my father had taught me that what he was doing was right and normal, that every other child and father were doing the same thing. I remember coming home that day and I knew that if I told my mother, he might hurt me, so I decided that I would just never let him touch me ever again,” she added.

For two years she kept her silence before eventually telling her mother.

“When I was 14, I realised that I needed to get help, so I asked my mom to see a counsellor. She asked me why and I began to tell her that her husband of 26 years had touched me. She was shocked, but I had not told her the extent of his crimes yet,” she said.

Towards the end of 2018, criminal proceedings against her father began and by 2019 her parents were divorced. The man pleaded guilty in April 2021 and while now facing 18 years behind bars, Kayleigh felt it was not sufficient.

“When I decided that he would never touch me again, this did not stop him from trying. He would always walk in on me while I was in the bath or shower, or while I was getting dressed. He would also continue to stare at my chest for periods of time,” she elaborated.

Additionally, the abuse victim has an axe to grind with those who did not support her.

“My father was very charming. A lot of our church friends, old family friends, even family, claimed that I threw myself onto him and that I seduced him. Others claimed that because I was too friendly as a child and always gave out hugs made me vulnerable to him, and that I should be to blame.

“The majority of the people who found out took his side. They would rather believe that it didn’t happen instead of believing that maybe something could happen to their child, or that they trusted someone near their kids,” she alleged.

As news of the sentence circulated on the internet, Kayleigh began noticing two alarming themes. One was around her mother’s role in her childhood, and one around the use of her religion as a ‘yardstick’.

“I would like to clarify that my mother did not beg the court not to send him to jail. My mother is my best friend. She fought for me, took me to therapy, kicked him out of her house and got divorced. She is my hero,” she stated.

As for the claims about how her father incorporated religion into his manipulation, she explained, “That is false. He did not use the Bible as a yardstick. As I said in my Victim Impact Statement, I learnt as a Christian child to honour my mother and father, and to respect him.

“In my own mind I knew that if my mom or dad said something was wrong, it was wrong and if something was right, it was right. When my dad convinced me that it was right what he was doing, I didn’t ask any questions because of my upbringing.”

Kayleigh continued, “My religion was very shaky, I strayed away from the path many times, but I know now that although the Lord might not have planned this for me, he will use my story to help encourage others who have gone through a similar thing”.

This steadfastness has helped Kayleigh pull herself from the brink of suicide to having a fresh outlook on life that will propel her forward.

With her whole life ahead of her, she aims to enter the teaching and therapy worlds, using her experience to shine a light for those who have felt the darkness she has, advising, “Its okay not to be okay. You are not a victim, you are a survivor and because of your strength and bravery, you are taking away your abuser’s power one step at a time.”