Don’t know how to have ‘The Chat’ with your child, let Christy’s book guide you

The average child’s exposure to pornography begins at 11, says Christy Herselman, author of ‘The Chat’.

‘The Chat’ is a movement to shift the general paradigm of youth being exposed to an unhealthy sex culture by educating parents and children on how to talk about sex.

Particularly when children have unsupervised access to television and the internet, the Umdloti resident stressed that guidance was crucial.

“Parents need to be equipped to be brave enough to chat to their children calmly about sex, pornography, sexual predators and red flags to watch out for,” said Herselman.

“If parents remain silent and unapproachable, our children turn to Google for answers.”

Being safe, wise and kind online are as important as body awareness, and according to Herselman, giving children access to social media at a young age puts them at risk of being sexually misguided and violated.

“Innocence is about context, and each child has gifts, talents and a uniqueness that needs to be guarded by getting involved with what our children are doing and talking about. We cannot avoid it because we are scared of our children getting cross with us.”

In the famous words of actor and comedian Chris Rock, “My relationship with my daughter is going to affect her relationship with men for the rest of her life.”

Herselman has written two educational books to help parents with these topics, walking families through sex education and becoming digitally savvy.

“I wrote these books in 2018 after I had been researching the subject of how, why and when to talk to our children for about four years. Often after my talks parents would ask me to recommend a book they could use when speaking to their children,” said Herselman, who used her experience as a journalist and English teacher, to put the guides together.

The mother of two boys and a daughter said she first started researching the subject when, through conversations with other parents, she realised that most were frightened by the topic and did not know where to start.

“I am passionate about helping families thrive and saw a need in my community to equip families to do that. I did not start out aiming to start a movement but rather to help my immediate community.”

‘The Chat, Birds, Bees and Destinies’ is available in both English and Afrikaans, while ‘#wellconnected’ focuses on navigating the digital world.

Herselman is a popular speaker at schools and corporate events, and can be contacted via her email at info@thechat.co.za.

“Every generation gets to choose the legacy they want to pass on to their kids,” said Herselman.

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