Bridging the age, race and gender gap as Ballito locals say ‘I do’

‘Follow your heart and be true to yourself’ is advice recently married partners, Gary (50) and Sphesihle (23) Msane-Opperman, say they would offer to couples from different backgrounds.

Ballito locals Gary and Sphesihle said ‘I do’ on June 25 at Nifty Nuptials Ballito after 3 years of dating and despite their initial concerns, given a large age gap, different backgrounds and what society may think of them, the couple said they continue to walk proud.

It was a fleeting moment they thought would remain as much when they first met 3 years ago, both scared owing to their differences.

But the couple agreed they would see where things went, and their love continued to blossom with lockdown bringing them closer.

“We met at a Black Diamond Concert,” said Gary, who works as an executive chef at Millflour Baking Company and Café in Hillcrest.
It wasn’t long before Sphesihle joined Gary at the bakery, where he today works as a commis chef.

“At home it’s like a competition between the two of us to see who gets the TV remote first, or who gets to cook dinner. When not at work we spend time talking, watching movies and spoiling each other with special meals we cook for one another,” said the Msane-Oppermans.

And when they aren’t cooking curries, biriyanis, making salads or spicy chicken wings, they turn toward sweeter treats made with jelly, custard and topped with sprinkles.

But life for the couple has not been all sprinkles, they explained.

“We knew there would be issues as society can be cruel. But we are very open-minded and proud of who we are,” said Gary, with Sphesihle adding that they often go into shops holding hands, becoming the centre of attention as people stare and gossip.

“Staying in hotels make people ask questions like whether having a double room is ok. I reply that he’s my husband.”

Gary proposed to Sphesihle in January while visiting Sphesihle’s aunt in Groutville.

They drank champagne and had a braai, ‘keeping it traditional’.

When Gary finally popped the question, he said, Sphesihle simply grabbed and hugged Gary, excitedly and with tears in his eyes as he said yes.

“I am blessed that God has blessed me. I thought I didn’t matter but I have found true love and a man that respects me and my family,” said Sphesihle.

“You only get one chance in life to find your soul mate. Don’t pause, just go for it,” said Gary.

The duo plan to adopt a child one day, with the hope of giving that child a chance to live life comfortably.