Expert tips on how to keep stress low this exam season

Exam season has a way of turning the air a little heavier.

You can feel it in homes, classrooms and in every aspect of children’s lives. Kids don’t just hear what we say, they absorb how we show up. And right now, what they need more than perfect marks are steady anchors – adults who remind them they’re capable, safe and supported.

This is where our energy, language and daily rhythms make all the difference.

Speak the state you want to create

Words shape a child’s inner world. Saying “Don’t stress” actually makes the brain focus on… stress. Instead, use language that paints the picture of the state you want to help them access.

Swap “Don’t get nervous,” for “Take a breath. You’ve prepared for this.”

Language is like a GPS – it tells the brain where to go. Choose words that build calm, not chaos.

Anchor calm, don’t just talk about it

One of my favourite neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) tools is anchoring. When your child is relaxed – maybe during a laugh at home or bedtime – get them to gently press their thumb and forefinger together. Repeat this while they’re in that calm state.

Later, when exam nerves creep in, they can press that same “anchor” to activate the feeling of calm their brain has already stored. It’s like carrying a little reset button in their pocket.

Move fear into focus

When children say, “I’m scared I’ll mess up,” remind them that fear lives in the future. Bring them back to the present with a grounding question like, “What’s one thing you can do right now to feel more ready?”

Action quiets the noise in the brain. It replaces panic with agency.

Keep the rhythm predictable

The nervous system loves predictability – it’s how the brain feels safe. A calm daily rhythm makes a difference: regular wake-ups, balanced meals, breaks, rest and time to breathe. It’s not about perfection; it’s about safety in structure.

Check your own state first

Children are emotional Wi-Fi routers. They don’t just hear us; they pick up our signal. If we’re tense, they feel it. If we’re steady, they borrow that calm. Before you speak encouragement, breathe it first.

Reframe the story around ‘failure’

“I can’t do this” becomes “I haven’t mastered this yet.”

That single word builds a bridge between fear and growth. Reframing doesn’t deny their feelings – it helps them meet those feelings with possibility instead of panic.

Exams don’t have to be hectic

With calm language, emotional anchors, predictable rhythms and gentle reframes, we can help our kids face this season steady, focused, and reminded of their worth – no matter the outcome.

May Coomer is a certified NLP Life Coach and educator who helps parents, schools and children build resilience, confidence and calm.

Contact: 083 856 5665 on WhatsApp or info@maycoomercoaching.com.

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