Two Bits – November 1, 2013

Hope you like the new look of the Courier this week. We last did a layout redesign about five years ago and, as newspapers are always female, she wanted – no, demanded – a new outfit and makeup.
There are tweaks here and there. News is back on Page 1, the headline fonts have been cleaned up, pages are clearly defined ‘News’, ‘Sport’, ‘Features’ etc. and some of the clutter has been removed to give everyone, hopefully, an easier read.
It is appropriate as November is the Courier’s birthday month and comes right on the heels of our entirely new web page, which had a complete overhaul last month. There is all the local news that matters, plus some snippets of national and international news.
Locals have long bemoaned that there is no central reference point for the activities of the area, so as f’rinstance to avoid hosting a cake sale on the same day as another charity event. Tell us about your event well in advance and we will put it on our website events calendar for all to see.
You may have noticed that the Courier and our Get It magazine (also with a new website) are on Facebook and Twitter as well. You can read the Courier and Get It on your computer, iPad or phone and keep abreast of the latest developments on all your mobile devices.
So, our digital thumbs are wiggling and the Courier and Get It teams are well onboard with all the new media. Are you?
* * *
‘Twas a dark and stormy night when the Sharks doled out a solid snotklap to Western Province on Saturday evening.
There was no singing of Province! Province! in the Newlands stands. Ag shame. And the Sharks played like men possessed. This was rugby at its best, because a: we won and b: we won.
There was a worrying moment 10 minutes or so before the end, when the storm shut down the TV link, but luckily it wasn’t for long. I was worried that if I took my eye off the ball for a second, you know, things could go horribly wrong.
Like earlier in the day, when that wind was howling out of the northeast. It hardly ever rains after a northeasterly. Last time it did was the ’87 floods, so the light sprinkling over Umhlali golf course in late afternoon came as a relief.
Anyhow, I was pretty pleased with myself after a birdie on the fourth, over the water, Then on the eighth the wind carried my ball right across the fairway into the dam. So I chipped another up from the drop zone onto the green and walked up to take the putt.
Damned if the wind didn’t grab my golfcart, wheel it across the fairway and dump it into the dam while I was concentrating on the putt!
My golf companions were falling about laughing. No sympathy there! Quick as a flash Colin Snyman whips out his phone and takes a snap of me emptying out the water and pulling weed off.  The paparazzi are everywhere!
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The KZN Philharmonic and combined choirs did themselves proud at the Durban city hall last Thursday with their performance of Beethoven’s Night Symphony.
There were more than 350 people crowded onto that huge stage and they played low, played loud and belted out the Ode to Joy absolutely magnificently. It was one of the highlights of my year.
* * *
Gatiep and his friend Gammatjie are sitting on death row, to be executed by electric chair.
Gatiep says to the warder: “’scuse Meneer, does this take long and is it painful?”
Warder: “Aikona, they just strap you in and flick the switch and it’s over.”
Gammatjie is called in. Moments later Gatiep hears Gammatjie screaming and shouting “Eina!”,  “Bliksem! Ouch!” and this carries on for quite a while.
Gatiep says to the warder: “Jislaaik! I thought you said it was quick and painless.”
Warder replies: “Due to load-shedding today, they have to use candles!”