Two Bits – 27 December 2013

We have come to the end of another year and it is time to look back and consider what has or might have been achieved on our Dolphin Coast.
My mistake, it’s not been just another year. It was the year the nation lost Madiba, a man who played a powerful role in rescuing the country from the brink of civil war and achieving peace and prosperity. Time will tell whether his values are cherished, or tossed aside.
On the positive side, the local economy continues to flourish. Yes, we are still firmly in the middle of a recession, growth slowed down a lot and the property market is still on a back foot, but there are also signs of growth.
The launch of the new Curro School at Mt Richmore in Salt Rock, and Trinityhouse at Palm Lakes, are brick and mortar proof of confidence in the future of the Dolphin Coast. Schools in the Ballito area are full to bursting and it will be no time at all before the two new schools will be looking to expand. New residents continue to pour into the area every month, attracted by new jobs or to start new enterprises.
It’s great news that the province has finally given the nod to a new government high school, so many of the new residents who are unable to afford the fees of private schools will not have to send their children to Durban schools.
The new N2 intersection is taking forever to finish, not helped by the first contractor failing, then strikes and weather delays. When it is complete, hopefully by the second quarter of 2014, it will take care of the huge increase we have all seen in traffic flows.
The increase in the general population has also seen an increase in the number of complaints about cane burning. It’s baffling to me, but didn’t people who bought here know they were coming to a semi-rural place? To me, one of the great attractions of the Dolphin Coast is that you’re only spitting distance from waving green fields, open skies and a gentler life than the big cities offer. A little cane ash in the pool, or on the washing now and again is a small price to pay for rural bliss.
However, I decided earlier this year to run a series of articles on the sugar industry, which will hopefully inform readers of what farmers are up to and open up reasoned discussion about what farmers and residents can do to rub along together. The second of those articles appears in this issue.
On the downside, the KwaDukuza municipality continues to be a source of considerable irritation. This is evidenced by the widespread protests in August over housing and lack of service delivery. There is every sign that dissatisfaction will continue to grow.
The administration of Mayor Ricardo Mthembu appears blind to the fact that tourism is the second economy of the region, after agriculture. Ballito is frankly in a mess. Potholed roads, broken streetlights, broken pavements, peeling and faded signs and badly kept verges. Blythedale, Darnall and Zinkwazi are even worse off.
Residents are not consulted and their wishes even ignored. The mayor’s determination to build a massive hall in Townsend Park was only averted when residents made their disapproval clear through this newspaper. Even so, the saga might not yet be over.
The electricity failures of the past month or so are another sore point. Year after year we hear that upgrades are about to be done and that blackouts will soon be something of the past.
The upshot of their poor performance is that property owners have little choice but to consider paying extra to the urban improvement project to get done what they are already paying the municipality to do, or not do. The mayor and his cronies are more interested in voting themselves houses and fancy cars with the people’s money.
Looking forward into the New Year, the Courier will continue to strive to reflect the views and outlook of the Dolphin Coast community to the best of our ability, and give the often ignored individual citizens of the Dolphin Coast, a platform to express themselves.

* * *
A frog phones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog says, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?”
“No,” says the psychic. “Next term in her biology class.”

* * *
Here are four questions. Don’t miss one.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is:
Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, “Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator?”
Wrong answer.
Correct answer:
Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend . . . except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct answer :
The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.
This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct answer:
You jump into the river and swim across.
Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers.
Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a four-year-old.