Two Bits – 10 January 2014

It must have been extra hard this season for the holidaymakers to tear themselves away and return to Gauteng.
The weather has been outstanding and confirmed my theory that it doesn’t matter if it’s raining cats and dogs early December, it clears up around mid-month. Most times.
New Year’s Eve was absolutely brilliant. After a perfect day, there was no wind to speak of and the temperature held up perfectly, so a big crowd of us headed off to Catfish beach with prawns and calamari and skottels, plus a little liquid refreshment, and just sat back and watched the spectacular fireworks displays all the way along the coastline. On the downside these holidays, I had to roust a few GP guys who seemed to think they could park in my driveway. I’m seriously thinking of getting one of those lockable bollards installed there to keep them out next year.
Fears that the Mandela grieving would put a dampener on season seem to have proven unfounded and most businesses report brisk trade. Let’s hold thumbs that it also spells an upturn in 2014.
Clowns of the Year prize goes to the two lifesavers on Salt Rock beach who were thrown out of their rubber duck on launching through rough surf. That wasn’t the worst of it though; the ‘dead man’s throttle’ which is supposed to stop the motor when the driver isn’t hanging on, apparently didn’t work as it should. Which suggests it wasn’t working when they went into the surf and it’s a maintenance issue.
The engine was stuck at full throttle and raced around and around in circles for many minutes before being forced towards the shore by the waves. Watching it, the scene was initially funny, but the laughter dried up when you realised what could have happened if the boat had ridden over some swimmers.
The whole episode was videoed and posted on Facebook. It didn’t take long to be picked up all over the place, including the websites of some American newspapers.
Ant Tibbit has an interesting tale about ski fishing off Tiffany’s reef a couple of weeks ago. His son-in-law hooked into a big yellow fin tuna and was being towed all over the show until Ant tied a line to the other ski and paddled hard in the opposite direction until the fish tired. It was nearly an hour before they could get a gaff into it. Only then they realised it couldn’t possibly fit in the hatches of their fishing skis. The fish was bleeding profusely and they were more than a little worried about attracting the attention of predators.
Another fisherman with a double ski and larger hatch came to their rescue and they managed to beach it. The fish weighed 28 kgs! What a tremendous catch!
So, a successful season hopefully heralds a good year – better than last year, anyway. I wish all our readers and clients a happy and prosperous 2014.
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This guy goes down to the Cape from Jo’burg for a fishing trip. On his way back the 4×4 breaks down with the boat in tow around Beaufort West. He tries all he can but the 4×4 just doesn’t want to go any more.
He tries his cell, but no reception. After standing for about four hours without any cars going past, he suddenly realises that the boat has got a radio. Just maybe he is lucky and there is someone listening on the emergency channel.
So this fellow hops onto the boat, connects the battery and start calling ‘Mayday, Mayday’.
Just as he almost gives up hope there’s this faint voice coming over the air. . .
“What’s your position, master.” (Cape accent here)
This chap looks at his GPS and gives his position over the radio.
There’s a long silence.
Then this voice come over the air again: “Jislaaik master, jy moes die land met ‘n m**rse spoed getref het!”