Two Bits: No rest for the wicked

Plans had been laid, preparations made, for my daughter to have her second child in the first week of November.

She was to go off on maternity leave and I was to be roused from my slumber in the back office to get back into harness to run the everyday business of the newspaper and digital platforms.

Lots of time to get ready. Then, oh well, the best laid schemes of mice and me . . . all that went out of the window on Saturday when our second grandson was in a hurry to get out into the world.

Ruben Bruce – I am honoured! – rather early at 34 weeks. Mother and child are both doing well, thanks to their excellent gynae and paediatrician and the very caring staff of Alberlito.

A premature baby gives the whole family a scare, especially granny and ouma.

So now Rose and I are grandparents two times over and loving every minute of it.

Hold on, lest that be misconstrued and taken advantage of. We are loving the time that we can spend with our eldest grandson – but it’s also great to be able to hand him back at the end of the day!

Rose is delighted by every minute she spends babysitting, mostly during the Courier’s production days on Mondays and Tuesdays, but by the time I get home she’s soooo tired.

That’s why we’re designed to have kids when we’re young and full of energy.

* * * Spent a perfect Heritage Day at Dudley Pringle dam at our annual Orphan Fund fishing day, with cosponsors Seeff Estates and Tongaat Hulett helping make it a family day.

The weather was perfect for fishing and we had a great turnout.

Thanks to our many prize sponsors, almost everyone got a prize. I enjoyed the chance to have a quiet paddle around the dam and was lucky enough to spot a pair of Yellowbilled Kites building a nest in a tree, close to the water.

They were very relaxed about me sitting there quietly, about 10 metres from them, watching while they fetched sticks and twigs.

A Pied Kingfisher was also busy darting in and out of the water for small fish and frogs, African Jacana were everywhere, high-stepping through the hyacinth (wish there was a magic wand to get rid of that stuff) and even the rusty wheel cry of a Fish Eagle high overhead. A perfect day.

* * * The word “heritage” has French roots, from heriter, to receive something at birth, such as personal characteristics, status, and possessions. It is also defined as anything that has been transmitted from the past or handed down by tradition. A

third definition is evidence of the past, such as historical sites, buildings, and the unspoilt natural environment, considered collectively as the inheritance of presentday society.

The Zulus can celebrate their heritage through language, song and dance, similarly the Indians and many other traditional groupings in our country.

For me it’s harder. As an English-speaking South African of mixed European descent (probably could do with a DNA test to establish that), it’s quite tricky to define my heritage.

Some of my great, great grandparents were English, Irish and French, but I know perfectly well from having lived overseas that while there is much in common – language, skin colour, religion – I am none of the above.

I’m a South African, with more affinity to the peoples of this country than those of Europe.

When you live away from here you become aware of what you love most – wide open skies by day and night, the sound of rolling thunder, then the smell of dust, the flying ants flopping in the puddles, cattle grazing at the roadside, exuberant singing anyplace, anytime, in cities or the deepest countryside, walking in the mountains.

All of this and much more. Someone came up with Braai Day as a way for people like myself to celebrate Heritage Day, and I’ll go with that.

So, we braaied and enjoyed the third definition of heritage as given above – the wonderful countryside that we are so blessed to call home.

* * * An elderly couple were sitting on the couch when the old fellow began running his hands over his wife. Prodding and stroking with inquisitive fingers. His wife thought “Ooh, this is a surprise! He hasn’t behaved like this for a while! How nice!” She was just getting into the mood when he stopped suddenly, and took no further notice of her. “What happened?” she asked. “Why have you stopped?” “Oh,” says he, “it’s okay, I’ve found the remote.”