Job title: PA to a despot

Being at home with your first baby is nothing like being at home with a toddler AND your second baby. It is safe to say that I have a new level of respect for stay-at-home moms.

It strikes me how often these mothers, who have sacrificed so much for their children (a second income and access to adult conversation being only the beginning) often see themselves as second-class citizens. One of the failings of our education system and largely our society is that it gives little or no value to motherhood.

Yes, the ideal of motherhood is held high but the real-life application of motherhood as a career is looked down upon.

Of course a woman is just as able to have a career as a man, but those who choose motherhood over a better paying job are no less intelligent or powerful than the female doctor or entrepreneur.

Right from kindergarten, in the books about professions mom is never given a mention on the list between doctor, fireman, nurse and vet. It should be right between hostage negotiator and PA to a despot.

Do you think you have to multi task at the office? Try making dinner while nursing an infant and reading a story to your toddler at the same time (or even more tricky, having your two-year-old insist on helping you make dinner ).

Do you think none of your co-workers take you seriously? Try saying no to a two-year-old – they will ask you 378 more times just to test your resolve.

As a teenager I can remember thinking that I would never ‘give up my dreams’ to be a mom. Then when I had Daniël two years ago I discovered that being a mom fulfilled me like nothing I had ever experienced. He was the dream job I had never anticipated. Seeing him thrive and develop into a courageous young man is a joy unlike any other.

When I was at university and the feminist debates (how dare anyone suggest a woman could be happy in the home) were raging hot among students, there was one couple whose actions spoke louder than any argument.

Nikki and Jason belonged to my Cape Town church and they were just starting a family. When their first child was born Nikki gave up her job as a teacher and in order to manage without her salary they moved into a granny flat so tiny that it soon became known as the ‘Mouse House’.

While they may have appeared to be as poor as church mice, in fact they possessed something far more important: value for relationships over things. They demonstrated their determination to give their son the absolute best by sacrificing their lifestyle for his benefit.

Of all the great things we can buy our children (a posh education, toys galore and a fancy home) it turns out that all they really want (and to a large extent need) is to spend time with us.

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Speaking of little despots, it appears that there may soon be a vacancy in the tyranny department in Zim. Here’s hoping the new guy is not cast from the same mould. I have family in Zimbabwe who I was lucky enough to visit about 20 years ago before the country really went into decline.

What a beautiful country it was! It was known as the breadbasket of Africa and now it remains an object lesson on what happens when greed and hate take precedence over forgiveness.

“When the storm threatens, a man is afraid for his house. But when the house is destroyed, there is something to do. About a storm he can do nothing, but he can rebuild a house.” – Alan Paton, Cry, the Beloved Country.