Two Bits: Tidy up your bedroom, then the world

Sexism and racism. What has Cyril Ramaphosa achieved in his first 100 days in office? Is the DA splitting?

Was the Ashwin Willemse incident a hissy fit or a symptom of all that is wrong? Is Trump going to cause World War Three? Is Brexit the end of Europe or a new beginning? Are there any answers?

All around us a swirling maelstrom of questions and half answers and the more desperate you are to pin them down, the more they slip away into the mist.

For those who understand such things, the rocket scientists of this world, the universe is an ever-expanding place, never still for an instant.

Same here on the surface, the answers move further out of our grasp the more we pursue them.

Sunday morning, I was in pain. The ‘flu had me laid low, the Sharks wallow at the bottom of the log and Liverpool going home with tails between their legs. The paper’s full of doom.

The Corrs singing “Everybody Hurts” on the stereo. Oh woe!

I sought inspiration from Thuli Madonsela: ‘A confident person has no time for hate or getting even, they only have time for getting ahead.’

Such a clever, together woman. I wish I had her poise and strength. But I can, I can! So says the equally admired (though controversial) psychologist Jordan Peterson, who preaches two habits that he maintains will help anyone get their lives back on track. They are: ‘Clean up your room’, and ‘Stand up straight and put your shoulders back’.

Get your life in order by starting with the little things closest to you and, secondly, adopt a confident posture in order to develop confidence. How often were we told that by our mothers? And we thought they knew nothing?

Treat yourself like you matter. Then you will treat others like they matter. Praise your good deeds, encourage yourself; then you will praise others and give them encouragement. Things might be wrong now, but that does not mean that have to stay that way.

I appreciate the issues surrounding race and gender have to be confronted, but I wish political parties were built on sound economic principles, instead of exploiting people’s fears. A lot of problems would be solved in the process.

Having sorted the world’s problems – and improved my mood – from the comfort of my couch, I set out for Sunday morning breakfast. Only when I got back did I realise why the waitress had been half grinning, half smirking at me: my shirt was inside out.

If, following the Peterson example, a person who can’t tidy up his room can’t be trusted to run a half-decent economy, what does it say about a person who can’t dress himself in the morning?

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The Ballito Junction clocked up 12 million visitors in its first year of operation, say the developers, and spent nearly R2 billion there. That’s an impressive figure for what not so long ago was a quiet little seaside village.

While half the shoppers are locals, nearly a third come from the Durban area, mostly Tongaat and Verulam. While 12 percent come from the Midlands and Zululand, probably those with holiday places, Gautengers made up 19 percent of the Junction’s shoppers. That’s 380 000 people! Which is, umm, quite a lot more than I would have thought possible.

That would suggest that about 250 000 Gautengers took their December break here, spread over the four peak weeks, with the balance visiting over school holidays and long weekends. Impressive.

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Although Dube Tradeport is just down the road I don’t get there that often, so a good opportunity to look around came with the opening of the Mahindra assembly plant there last week. They make lower end trucks and SUVs and think they’re just the biz for emerging Africa.

They’ve invested R10 million into this facility, aimed at being a springboard into East and West Africa. I am encouraged by their wagering that money, admittedly not a lot for a global player, to set up a local plant. May they grow from strength to strength.

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If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?