Size does matter . . . when it comes to parking

Being a South African, and an outdoors fan, I have always wanted and mostly had larger vehicles – SUV’s, 4X4’s and double cabs.

These trucks can be quite a skill to manoeuvre . . . a skill I thought I had mastered.

As I get older and busier, and find myself worrying about bond repayments, customer issues and general life, I seem to have less control of these behemoth vehicles.

I used to be able to “thread the eye of the needle” so to speak, now if you see me in the parking lot, I advise that you phone your insurance company while speedily running away.

I have a really long Ford Ranger and I am continuously bumping it into things.

I have chipped plaster from the walls in the underground parking at Ballito Junction, driven into the garage wall at home countless times, mostly ripped the front bumper off by turning too soon while reversing, destroyed both side steps by driving over stationary artifacts, destroyed the nudge bar on a tree and have scratched both sides of the inter-city train on our driveway gate – more than once.

One thing is for sure, I definitely do not deserve a new car. I can barely keep the bits on the one I have!

I would like to think of myself as a good driver, I am just finding the big car is less and less appealing and I catch myself looking at a hatchback with longing rather than the distaste of a few years ago.

I used to look down on a hatchback like a spoilt brat with a magnifying glass over an ant -now I long for the effortless motoring and parking!

A memorable moment which sums this up was an evening out at Lifestyle Centre.

My wife had to get out and guide me back into the parking (I reverse in to be able to get out in one piece), and on this particular occasion this greatly amused a few locals who had earlier been at the deep end of Robson’s bar counter.

Due to some unforeseen communication difficulties, I very nearly hit the car behind me and the resultant “blaming session” greatly amused the miniature audience.

I am now determined to fit parking sensors or a reversing camera to assist in this process. Hopefully the gadgets will allow for shame-free parking. Talk about first world problems.

I have also decided to blame the parking lot designers, how is a typical South African man truck supposed to fit in those tiny spaces, while having enough space to exit the vehicle? It is clearly their fault!

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