ENTERTAINMENT: 12 irritating things singles hate to hear

Going solo is not always the worst thing that could happen to you in life, but being single does open the door to people saying some really annoying things.

Here are 12 of the most irritating things you could say to a single person:

I don’t understand why you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

We singles don’t either. If I did, I would not be prowling the shopping aisles hunting for the newest line of cat food.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

I don’t know yet, but it does not involve shelling out money for cheesy gifts.

Don’t worry, you will meet someone.

Really? Did you have to say that? That is like saying “It could be worse…” Nothing good ever comes out of it.

How’s the love life?

My love life is a lot like dinosaurs…. Dead and gone. Thanks for reminding me.

I wish I was single.

No you don’t. That’s just crazy talk. It’s like saying I have a whole lot of chocolates but I wish I was on a diet.

Your standards might be too high.

No my standards are not too high. The cost of petrol is too high, my standards are not. I do not want to date a serial killer stalker…

It will happen when you least expect it.

You do realise I do not live in some clichéd romance movie, right? So, let’s not use that line, please.

Don’t worry, you still have plenty of time!

I know I have time. I am single and it isn’t like I have much to do.

One day, someone will come along and you’ll understand why it didn’t work out with all those other people.

Well that explains everything. I feel so much better now. This is one of most irritating lines ever.

When are you getting married?

I am not even dating! So your guess is as good as mine.

Do you go out to places where you can meet someone?

No, I don’t. I am a hermit and refuse to leave my house. Of course I go out in attempt to find someone.

I am so glad I am not single any more.

Thank you for reminding me of how much better your life is. I hope you choke on a jelly bean.